JD,
I agree with what you have said, that was the point I was trying to get across up above. I don't ever remember anyone, telling son to "throw harder" when he was young, rather than making the adjustments as the pitchers grows to help in the process of throwing harder. And it takes a long time, years for many to get to that point.
In college, there was a RHP who absolutely was very effective, he was in the 86-88 range, I do believe he racked up more wins than any pitcher in the programs history. His dad was very discouraged that he wasn't getting the attention that the harder throwers were getting for that years draft (90+). So he told him not to listen to the coach, and every time he took the mound he threw his hardest with intent, and he wasn't effective at all (missed his spots and wild). At one point he even lost his start as a starting pitcher, and I heard that Sully had to try to undue the damage which was created, which was too late, the player was drafted in the 30 something round, if he had not tried to intentionally throw hard and mess up his mechanics, he probably would have been a 15-16 round guy and then, most likely after a year or two, been able to throw a bit harder. So my understanding is that you just can't always force the peg into the round whole, (until you have shaved down the sides) throwing harder on purpose, doesn't always serve the purpose it was intended for (making the pitcher a better pitcher).