2017 and 2019: quite different personalities. any hope?

He is young, he doesn't have to be interested in the things that you think he should be.

You can't make a kid want it. It has to come from within.

 Thanks, RJM and TPM, I know you're both right.  Pretty much know I need to let go of this but harder to do than I thought it would be.

Exactly.  Everybody has their own way of doing things, their own "internal clock" and passions.  You can help provide an opportunity, but they have to want it and seize it.  I've been through this with 3 boys...all different.  It has to come from within.  JMO.

Nature vs. Nurture is an interesting debate up until your second child is born. And then you realize that some things are ingrained. One is a great student, the other just o.k. One is an athlete, the other could care less about sports. One has an outgoing personality, the other is introverted.

2019, just finishing 8th grade?  This is about the time it started to click for my son.

Before 14 under ball, he always kinda floated about.  Good enough to get results and be one of the better players, but never seemed to give 100%.  I used to tell him all the time with his attitude the high school coach won't put up with his half a$$ ways.  Anyway the summer before high school, it started to click a bit.  Started playing better competition, and I noticed he would grow tired of kids who were starting to lose interest, and not be focused on baseball. (kinda ironic)  Then he tried out for one of the top high school travel organizations and saw how much talent there really was out there.  He made the team and it really kicked in for him as to how hard he had to work to keep up with the others.  Since then, he has always been a hard worker on the ball field.  Studies??? Not so much.

But no matter what I said, or how often I said it, it did no good.  He has to want it, just like everyone else has said.

Yeah - that old 2nd child thing.  We have 6!! 

Our first was so well behaved at restaurants, in the grocery store, etc...  We'd see other kids misbehaving and think to ourselves, "We must be the world's best parents!" 

And then God decided to show us the truth with #2. 

I've come to realize its a wonderful thing how different kids from the same parents can be - adds a little spice to life!  But it can also be just a weeeeeeee bit frustrating at times too! 

My kids are 16 and 9, but similar story to yours.

The oldest is one of those hard nosed kids - always has been.  May not have always been the most talented on some of his teams - but he was the kid that would try to run through a brick wall to get to a foul ball. He's tough, plays tough, and built like a linebacker.

The younger is 4 inches taller and 15 pounds heavier than his brother at his 9 yo checkup.  He's faster, and when he manages to use the correct mechanics - throws much harder.  He's also developed into a better hitter, although that may just be because I've become a better teacher the second time around.

The things is though, despite being far more physically gifted - my youngest doesn't have the same fire his brother did.  Now when it comes to a game or practice he is very focused.  Hates to lose. Hates when other kids screw around.  He just doesn't drag me off to the field nearly as much as his brother did.

With the oldest, we were at the cages at 7:30 every Saturday morning in the off season.  If I suggested that to the youngest he would look at me like I had grown a second head.

It's okay though.  He asked/begged me to coach his team next season (I swore I wouldn't coach 10U rec ball, but if he asks - how can I say no?).  I figure he is coming around.  Keeping my fingers crossed.

Twins typically occur in alternate generations. Both of us had twin parents. Twins had occures in alternate generations for six generations. We didn't have twins. Looking back I'm not sure what would have been worse. Twin 14yo girls or twin 3yo boys. That age was a handful with each one.

i also was a little smug about how well my daughter was behaved on the playground as a small child. Then we had a boy. At two he was kicked out of Gymboree for running across the tops of structures he should have been crawling through. He had to "play up" to three year old gymnastics.

I've come to realize its a wonderful thing how different kids from the same parents can be - adds a little spice to life!  But it can also be just a weeeeeeee bit frustrating at times too! 

Sums it up.

I definitely agree that you can only lead your horse to water; the thirst will have to come from within.

However, if your boy is lucky, it maybe that somebody other than a parent will come along and light a fire under him.  If you or he can find a coach that can get through to him and impress on him the fact that talent is not enough, there's a chance that a spark will take hold that otherwise would not have happened.