Commitment Crossroads

"When you know, you know."  Sounds like you're not there yet?  

Son had similar situation.  Got offer from school A, but was supposed to visit for 2nd time school B couple weeks later.  And school B would have been an awesome school too.   Son just wanted school A.  For a variety of reasons.  Didn't hesitate.  

Without going into too many details it parallels your a lot.  If your gut is not at peace yet with closing door on B, then I see no harm in going for the visit after Thanksgiving?  

But if you're only going "to keep your word" then that's not a reason to go.   You'd be wasting everyone's time and energy and that's not right.  

And that's my opinion.  Thanks for asking!  Let us know what you end up doing.  

Go where they ' love' you.....not 'like' you. Especially with only 2 choices. It is usually clear which school is showing maximum love.

That's the choice. It has nothing to do with any sort of obligatory thing. You only get 1 shot at this.

1 shot. You gotta get it right. The HC's and RC's take 6-10 shots every year. They can shoot and miss ......You can't

-Good Luck

My two cents...

Absolutely follow through with the visit to School B.  It is an opportunity to see it through a different lens.  Ask questions you haven't asked before and listen to the answers.  As a young man going through this recruiting process it can be very confusing.  You are looking at these schools as a possible path to your future, so nothing is more important...not to mention college is expensive! 

These coaches are selling you on their school....that is their job.  Whichever school you select your relationship will change from someone on the outside of the program to someone on the inside....BIG difference.   So, at the end of the day make your decision on what is most important to YOU now but also in 5 years from now.  Also, trust your gut, and don't worry about the coaches feeling being hurt.   I guarantee you he'll be fine....he deals with this all the time.  Be selfish and do what is right for you and your family.

Good luck and congrats on the pending commitment on the best school for you!

Take the visit, gather as much info as you can and you'll be able to make the most informed decision possible.  The visit may reinforce why you are more comfortable with B right now or it may give you a totally different perspective on A.  Remember, coaches get told "no" every year so whether it you end up at A or B, just be upfront once the decision has been made. 

I second the opinion of those that say take the visit after Thanksgiving just to make sure of your choice...but you need to make sure the offer from school A will still be on the table at that point.  If they haven't given you a timeline for your decision you should probably ask them if you can have until Dec. 1 to give them an answer.

Take the visit and be SURE ...no regrets. You dont want to look back and say " what if.."

Until you visit the second college you're not evaluating them on the same level. Be open minded.

LHP2017 posted:

Through the long process that it has been, I have narrowed down my list to two schools, school A and school B. School A had been one that I hadn't thought of being a fit before they reached out and I visited, it all clicked immediately with the coaching staff and campus life. ... My head has been spinning this entire week over this and I really don't know how to approach it, would it be wrong to commit now and not complete the overnight for school B? I really appreciate any feedback on this, I am truly stuck. 

You are looking at this all wrong.  You have the ideal situation.  You have one school you feel great about and have had the good fortune of doing a full on campus visit.  You have another school that you are quite familiar with that has, at least, much good to offer and you have the opportunity to do a full campus visit with them as well (and that visit is soon, so you don't have a lengthy "in limbo" period).  So, you will be able to make a very educated decision between what may be two very good choices.  You shouldn't be truly sick, you should be extremely happy.

 This is exactly what visits are for.  If you are a the player coach B hopes you are, he will know he likely isn't the only school interested in you.  He will also understand that, at the end of the day, you need to make the choice that is best for you, not a choice to please him.  His lengthy efforts have been rewarded by you including him as one of your final two picks.  Now it is time to take that visit (with an open mind, as RJM says), gather the final pieces of info, go home and weigh everything out, pick the best fit and celebrate!  When it comes up (and it likely will), there is nothing wrong with sharing with Coach B that you have made another visit and you think you have narrowed your decision to two schools.  This will make it easier to tell him you need to go home and digest everything and try to make the best decision.

Enjoy and appreciate the opportunity that is in front of you.  Most players going through the process could only dream to be in the position you are in.

Do you mind me asking the Division? I my opinion, it is much to early to rule out any school if they are all D3's. The only reason I can see for ruling out D#'s this early is if you go Early Decision, and you are getting assistance from the coach to get in.

D3 recruitment is a long road. Until Fafsa results or any of the other qualifiers, you do not know what the financial package will look like. If you have already started ruling out similar schools you may miss out on some negotiating opportunities.  Except for ED I do not see any reason to "Commit" until spring of your Senior year. Until then take all the visits you can. If a school loses interest, you were probably not a high recruit anyway. 

Good Luck

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

Do you mind me asking the Division? I my opinion, it is much to early to rule out any school if they are all D3's. The only reason I can see for ruling out D#'s this early is if you go Early Decision, and you are getting assistance from the coach to get in.

D3 recruitment is a long road. Until Fafsa results or any of the other qualifiers, you do not know what the financial package will look like. If you have already started ruling out similar schools you may miss out on some negotiating opportunities.  Except for ED I do not see any reason to "Commit" until spring of your Senior year. Until then take all the visits you can. If a school loses interest, you were probably not a high recruit anyway. 

Good Luck

 

Yes these are both D3s but I will not be going ED but have already been accepted into both schools. Both of the schools have given me a good amount of merit aid but obviously has not been finalized as packages won't come out for a while. However, these are really the last two schools standing. All others have stopped communication or just gone in a different direction, why would you say wait to commit until spring? Just curious!

I am with BLD.

You dont sound convinced about either one. And as he mentioned its a long process.  Keep your options open until your package is finalized.

I didnt see where you mentioned that either school actually offered you an actual OPPORTUNITY, or is it contigent on a visit.  Do your homework this spring and see how many they keep on the roster.

Good luck.

Best I can tell you is my 2017 visited a handful of schools liked some more then others - then he took a visit to his last one and he liked it immediately, the campus, the coaches, the layout, a month later they had him for an overnight, I knew he was done before we left the campus when I picked him up the following day.

He had overlooked his final choice for a couple of silly reasons...but when he got there it was a no brainer. Not everyone has that ah ha moment but many do. keep your eyes open.

Thanks for letting us know. 

For a long time I was sure my son was going to end up at school A. He kept his options open. He received many very generous academic scholarships from many school's. Many D3's have academic weekends where select students can compete for additional scholarships. He went to all thoughts. I was still sure he was going to school A. In March the admission packages start coming out. All are similar, but school A is higher than the others. 

Let the Dickering begin. Many of the schools were up front and easy to work with. School A was not. They would never give an answer. They kept stringing him on. In the end he chose school B (OWU). His thought "If they treat me like this before I get into school, how will they treat me once I am there and they have my money."

We have discussed it many times since and he knows he made the right choice. So as TPM says keep an open mind and explore all your opportunities. You have time.

Update: Made my visit to school B last night/this morning, very happy I didn't close the door on this school before I went on this visit. Had a great time hanging out with the team and other athletes/people I met along the way, also had a great dinner with the PC which reaffirmed his strong interest in me saying that I am one of their top 3 guys, now this may not be true but i've felt a good amount of "love" from them. Going to be a very difficult decision between these two schools as I feel like they both fit, just need to figure out which one fits better! Another question did come up through this visit though, with your sons recruiting (especially those with pitchers) did most of the communication come through the HC or the PC? I haven't spoken with the HC of school B since my last visit during their fall world series, strictly the PC. Is this something I should be concerned with? I have spoken with both HC and PC about equally at school A. 

LHP2017,

To answer your question, yes.  You should be talking to both, but the ultimate decision is with the HC.  There have been many threads over the years on HSBBWeb about recruits dealing with their possible future position coaches and not the Head Coaches only to find out the position coach and the HC were not on the same recruiting page.  The pitching coach is your "champion" but the final decision will be made by the HC.  

As a follow up to your recent visit, I suggest you reach out to the HC and tell him about your interest in the school, and your conversations with the PC.  This was a lesson my oldest son learned at one of the schools that would eventually offer him.  About 5 minutes into his first conversation with the HC in his office, he learned the young and inexperienced PC had not been keeping the HC updated.   

Good luck!

I agree with Fenway. You need to get a feeling for how the head coachs opinion. A friend of the family, had an experience, pitching coach recruited him. But when the young man arrived on camous he learned that the HC, did not feel the same as the pitching coach. Young man lasted a year before transferring . 

What kind of feeling did you get from the HC on your first visit? How long has the PC been with the program? At some schools the coaches may trust their recruiters enough. different schools recruit in  different ways. 

I would not yet consider this a red flag, but you need to find out.

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

I agree with Fenway. You need to get a feeling for how the head coachs opinion. A friend of the family, had an experience, pitching coach recruited him. But when the young man arrived on camous he learned that the HC, did not feel the same as the pitching coach. Young man lasted a year before transferring . 

What kind of feeling did you get from the HC on your first visit? How long has the PC been with the program? At some schools the coaches may trust their recruiters enough. different schools recruit in  different ways. 

I would not yet consider this a red flag, but you need to find out.

 

My initial contact with the HC came after I had thrown a CG against a very good team and got a very good feeling from him like he had genuine interest, few phone calls here and there after that just to check up on me before I visited the first time. Got weird feeling from him on my visit, given there were many prospects there it may be the norm not to get much love on those events? In our meeting that day he was straight forward saying he wanted me and circled my name on his sheet (which I don't think means much because I saw about five other kids circled on the page I was on alone) and told me "oh you don't want to go to school A" which I thought was kind of out of place. But the HC is heading into his 3rd season and the PC is into his 5th so he has been here with the HC since day 1 which might give him more trust with handling recruiting of pitchers? 

This scenerio is very typical.  I remember the same thing a coach did with son, spoke badly about other programs but the difference was he made him a generous offer. But later on I realized he probably offered the same offers to many. And he talked bad about other coaches. He was so overwhelming son refused to attend this in state program.  He didnt buy in.

If he has bad things to say about people, he could one day be doing the same about you.  

Big red flag.

You need to have a conversation with your inner voice as well as your gut. Is this what you want or is it because you have no other choices?

Be honest with yourself. Thats the most important part of recruiting.

LHP2017 posted:

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

I agree with Fenway. You need to get a feeling for how the head coachs opinion. A friend of the family, had an experience, pitching coach recruited him. But when the young man arrived on camous he learned that the HC, did not feel the same as the pitching coach. Young man lasted a year before transferring . 

What kind of feeling did you get from the HC on your first visit? How long has the PC been with the program? At some schools the coaches may trust their recruiters enough. different schools recruit in  different ways. 

I would not yet consider this a red flag, but you need to find out.

 

My initial contact with the HC came after I had thrown a CG against a very good team and got a very good feeling from him like he had genuine interest, few phone calls here and there after that just to check up on me before I visited the first time. Got weird feeling from him on my visit, given there were many prospects there it may be the norm not to get much love on those events? In our meeting that day he was straight forward saying he wanted me and circled my name on his sheet (which I don't think means much because I saw about five other kids circled on the page I was on alone) and told me "oh you don't want to go to school A" which I thought was kind of out of place. But the HC is heading into his 3rd season and the PC is into his 5th so he has been here with the HC since day 1 which might give him more trust with handling recruiting of pitchers? 

Did he give specific reasons for not going to school A? 

Also, if you liken this experience to real life I would be concerned that the HC hasn't been more involved in your recruitment.  If I was interviewing for a job I would expect to have most of my talks with the owner of the company, and some follow up talks with the person who would be my direct supervisor, but a majority of the talks would be with the owner. 

Is there any down side for this player to straight up ask the HC if he is on the same page with  the PC?

Most HC at all levels hire assistants to do the recruiting but some are their own head recruiters.  On a weekly basis the team meets to discuss each recruit. Nowadays most HC have met the recruit at some point or another.

It always concerned my son when a coach talked bad about another program, especially schools in the same conference.

Son had a couple of coaches do that, and it kind of put him off. It was one part of the deciding factors between his final two. It was kind of funny, It did not seem to be part of the coaches regular spiel, And you could tell that he regretted it as soon as he said it.

We had a similar experience BLD.  One coach in particular spoke rather harshly about a particular conference that my son had interest in and received offers.  The Head Coach actually went on a tirade about the conferences  limited schedule, limited practice time, limited travel, cold weather etc...   As it turned out,  what the Head Coach was describing was exactly what my son was looking for given his priorities and projected academic workload.  So, the coach was helpful in showing his true colors and helping my son zero in on exactly what he was looking for.   I agree with others that a coach bad mouthing another program (or conference) is a red flag.  Buyer beware.  JMO.

A travel teammate of my son never met the head coach. Previously he had been heavily recruited to the program the recruiting assistant came from (when he was the head coach).  The head coach didn't like the kid's talent. He never got on the field and transferred. 

CaCO3Girl posted:

LHP2017 posted:

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

I agree with Fenway. You need to get a feeling for how the head coachs opinion. A friend of the family, had an experience, pitching coach recruited him. But when the young man arrived on camous he learned that the HC, did not feel the same as the pitching coach. Young man lasted a year before transferring . 

What kind of feeling did you get from the HC on your first visit? How long has the PC been with the program? At some schools the coaches may trust their recruiters enough. different schools recruit in  different ways. 

I would not yet consider this a red flag, but you need to find out.

 

My initial contact with the HC came after I had thrown a CG against a very good team and got a very good feeling from him like he had genuine interest, few phone calls here and there after that just to check up on me before I visited the first time. Got weird feeling from him on my visit, given there were many prospects there it may be the norm not to get much love on those events? In our meeting that day he was straight forward saying he wanted me and circled my name on his sheet (which I don't think means much because I saw about five other kids circled on the page I was on alone) and told me "oh you don't want to go to school A" which I thought was kind of out of place. But the HC is heading into his 3rd season and the PC is into his 5th so he has been here with the HC since day 1 which might give him more trust with handling recruiting of pitchers? 

Did he give specific reasons for not going to school A? 

Also, if you liken this experience to real life I would be concerned that the HC hasn't been more involved in your recruitment.  If I was interviewing for a job I would expect to have most of my talks with the owner of the company, and some follow up talks with the person who would be my direct supervisor, but a majority of the talks would be with the owner. 

Is there any down side for this player to straight up ask the HC if he is on the same page with  the PC?

No specific reasons if I can remember correctly, my dad thought he was joking but everyone in the room could tell that I didn't think he was. However, kind of funny that PC said they had a good program going when I met with him the other day. Mixed messages I tell ya. 

fenwaysouth posted:

We had a similar experience BLD.  One coach in particular spoke rather harshly about a particular conference that my son had interest in and received offers.  The Head Coach actually went on a tirade about the conferences  limited schedule, limited practice time, limited travel, cold weather etc...   As it turned out,  what the Head Coach was describing was exactly what my son was looking for given his priorities and projected academic workload.  So, the coach was helpful in showing his true colors and helping my son zero in on exactly what he was looking for.   I agree with others that a coach bad mouthing another program (or conference) is a red flag.  Buyer beware.  JMO.

Same scenario happened to me with a D2 program. Coach went on a rant about how you can't "develop at a D3 like you can at a D2" and some other oddly placed things. Experience with the HC at this D3 was NOT as bad as that one was

Son visited a D2, they were looking to have him walk on. So really liked the coach. School had moved from D3 to D2. The subject of d3 came up. Coach did not bad mouth D3 but said he would not be there is it was still D3. He could not ever see himself coaching at a d3 school. Well things must have changed because he was announced as the coach of a D3 recently. Andnit was not like he was unsuccessful at the D2.

Son and I got a chuckle out of it.