Do I stay or do I go?

When our son was going on unofficial visits, we would stay out. His visits were his visits. On one occasion, at a PAC 12 school, the HC asked him if he was alone, he said his parents were somewhere around. HC said go get them & bring them back to his office. He visited with us for about an hour & ended up showing us the facilities. That was pretty cool.

The only other times we accompanied him was on official visits.

Not sure what the right answer is for you. We just felt it was journey. In hindsight, there are many things we might have done differently, just not sure that was one of them.

Iowa Mom;

Use your instinct. Who ever travels, take notes, take photos of the campus, the field, the coach.

It helps later when you try to recall. If you son is a right handed hitter, check the distance to the LF fence. Ask the coach about the Academic counselor. He will need his class credits to be transferred to a 4 Year school.

Bob

Thanks all. Decided to go, and glad I did since coaches wrapped up with an offer. A nice campus and a nice school, and nice to have decisions to make.

While I understand the concept that this is the kid's baseball, and his future, and his decision...I also know my son can't remember what he ate for lunch and asking him to remember what the coach said would be ludicrous.  As long as he is talking and not constantly looking at the parent to make sure he's saying the right thing, I don't understand how a parent being an extra set of ears is a bad thing.

Congrats on the kids offer Iowamom.

I would encourage parents to accompany the player on these visits.  In fact, I believe it is a mistake to not do so.  The parent's job is to be the adult in the room representing the player's interest.  It kills me how some (on this board) will give the knee jerk response for the player's parent(s) to stay out of it.  A parent functions much like an agent does when dealing with a professional or draft pick. If a 30 year old MLB player has representation asking the right questions and watching out for their client's interest, why wouldn't a 18 year old need that even more???!!

Anyone telling you to stay out is giving you bad and stupid advice.

Congrats on your son's offer.  That is fantastic.

My wife and I were very much a "it depends" kind of parents in terms of riding shotgun to visit a coach and campus on unofficial visits. If the school was within a couple hours, first visit, and state school we let him go alone or with a teammate if that is what he wanted.  We wanted him to feel empowered and responsible, and to make a decision whether or not the college met his needs.  We knew there would be future opportunities to join him if he liked the college.

If it was a long car or plane ride, possible offer, Official visit, or private school ($$) we typically tagged on in listen-only mode.  There were also a number of times, our oldest son asked us to join him so the point was mute.

Young men hear what they want to hear, and they have little frame of reference.  Parents hear what they don't want to hear (college is expensive!), and have lots of life experiences.  From our view point, context is needed when making a life decision and making a large investment.   The only questions my wife or I ever asked a coach were related to finances and medical care.  Son handled everything else.   In a handful of cases, we made a point to stop by the Financial Aid office or follow up with FA via phone call.   Just our experience.

Iowamom23 posted:

Thanks all. Decided to go, and glad I did since coaches wrapped up with an offer. A nice campus and a nice school, and nice to have decisions to make.

Iowamom, that's awesome, congrats on his offer(s)!

Curious, with the other player around, how was that handled?  Was he offered also?  Or, were you and son pulled away for discussion?

cabbagedad posted:

Iowamom23 posted:

Thanks all. Decided to go, and glad I did since coaches wrapped up with an offer. A nice campus and a nice school, and nice to have decisions to make.

Iowamom, that's awesome, congrats on his offer(s)!

Curious, with the other player around, how was that handled?  Was he offered also?  Or, were you and son pulled away for discussion?

Actually, the really cool thing is that the two boys were offered together. Coach is new to the program and talked about some problems that he apparently inherited. He told the two of them that one of the things the coaches had noted at our games is how well my son (pitcher, first base and third base) and this other player (a shortstop and pitcher) work together, feed off each other, and lead the team. He said we're offering both of you because we think you can work together to be a foundation for our team, the same way you are for your HS team.

Each kid got his own folder with his offer in it. Sad part was as we walked out, my son handed me his and said "here mom, thought you'd want to read it." Other boy reached out with his and said "here mom — oops. My family didn't come." 

Iowamom23 posted:

cabbagedad posted:

Iowamom23 posted:

Thanks all. Decided to go, and glad I did since coaches wrapped up with an offer. A nice campus and a nice school, and nice to have decisions to make.

Iowamom, that's awesome, congrats on his offer(s)!

Curious, with the other player around, how was that handled?  Was he offered also?  Or, were you and son pulled away for discussion?

Actually, the really cool thing is that the two boys were offered together. Coach is new to the program and talked about some problems that he apparently inherited. He told the two of them that one of the things the coaches had noted at our games is how well my son (pitcher, first base and third base) and this other player (a shortstop and pitcher) work together, feed off each other, and lead the team. He said we're offering both of you because we think you can work together to be a foundation for our team, the same way you are for your HS team.

Each kid got his own folder with his offer in it. Sad part was as we walked out, my son handed me his and said "here mom, thought you'd want to read it." Other boy reached out with his and said "here mom — oops. My family didn't come." 

Congrats IowaMom! That's exciting news!