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This a very good topic. I am sure there are a lot of other parents asking the same questions for players around 13-14 years old. Why is my son not motivated to push himself more? Should I push him or should I wait to see if he gets motivated to train on his own?

I’m from a suburb of Houston TX. We play baseball all year round and what I see is that when you go to a baseball field, the field is always empty unless there is a tournament going on or if there is a team practice. I almost never see a kid or two practicing by their own (or with his/her father or mother). I think I can count with my fingers the times I have seen that in about 6 years.

Everyone feels good about been part of a team and compete. Then we tend to measure failure/success based on the outcome of the last game or practice that we had.

This is the baseball culture that I see every single day. The instant gratification culture. These swings of emotions is what is controlling the players , coaches and parents minds.

Every day that we continue to live the baseball life like these, without having a plan, we get farther from the goal. Whatever that goal is. Do you have a goal? What is the next big goal to accomplish on your baseball life? If you are an 8th grader… is your goal to be ready to make the H.S. team? Or maybe to get on that big time summer travel team? Cool, so how can you make sure you do what you need to leave a good impression on the coaches?

For example….Do you know how fast or slow you really are? Have someone measured your 60 yard dash? If so, do you know how to train to get faster and how to improve your technique?

Same applies for any level and for any goal that you would like to get. Remember the older you get as a player…you will never be standing still, which means you are either getting closer to your goals or you are getting further away.

Everything starts with a little thing done every day.. start with a small goal in order to get a bigger goal. But you have to get consistent with that little every day. Is the only way.
Last edited by Albert Pizarro
It's funny, but up until a couple of months ago I could have said similar things. My son is a 13 year old 8th grader (2017). I've always "facilitated" things for him, went to the field with him when he wanted to hit, got him to practices, workouts, etc. A couple of months ago, right around the time he turned 13, it was like a light went on. Now he hits by himself, does push-ups and sit-ups by himself, asks me to go out with him so he can field, etc. He knows the importance of doing the "little things" and he's doing them.

He's even become a little more responsible in school. But in that area I need to see it a little more on the report card.
My son played sports year around (baseball, football, s****r) when he has younger, but in the 8th grade at the end of the football season he said he was done with football and at the end of basketball season he said he was done with basketball. He somewhat unenthusiastically moved into baseball season and early on, he said he wanted to quit. I am not a fan of quitting as a matter of principle so I refused to allow it, but he was miserable and wanted no part of baseball so after a month or two of his sulking, I relented. I was totally baffled. It was about that time he took all of his trophies and awards and boxed them up and put them in the garage. He didn't play competitive sports that summer and heading into high school, true to his word, he did not play football or basketball. But when baseball season rolled around, he decided to give it a shot. He had a pretty good freshman year. The following year he was invited to try out for varsity, which wss pretty unsual at this school. During try outs he hurt his arm and didn't play that season, but came to practice every day, shagged fly balls, chased foul balls, you name it. And he never complained. Fast forward to today - he is a junior at a D1 college and is playing there. He cannot get enough of it. He's played 2 summers in collegiate leagues with their demanding schedules and has had fabulous experiences. He's loved it. I've been stunned by how hard he works, how much time and energy he puts into it and how much he appears to enjoy it. Go figure. Bottom line for me, though, is that he had had to want it and on his own terms.
I have seen many baseball players quit between LL and HS. They all have their own reasons, interests, etc. What I found out is that it is a lot easier when son as me to go to a park to play ball than if I have to remind him to practice. It's already hard trying to remind them to do their school homework and keep up with the grade. So I usually leave it up to them to commit to a sports and see it thru. I just remind them once awhile that they will only be as good as the hard work they put into it.
As a new member and a mom just starting this journey I am so glad I found this website/board.I wanted to update a bit since my original post. I had my sons pitching evaluated by a former highschool coach. He says he is "flying out" which is putting pressure on his elbow. Instead of drawing strength from his core he is trying to gain all the strength with his arm. I hope I said that correctly. We have decided to shut him down/no throwing through mid January and then he is going to start a throwing program and work on his mechanics to get ready for the season. Other than that evaluation I really have not mentioned baseball. Funny thing today when he walked in from school first thing he said to his dad was can we go hit. Dad takes him and throws to him at the LL diamonds.
This thread read like a novel, and I was hoping for a happy/smart ending. You got a lot of good "parenting" advice, my only add (being a physical therapist) is that tendonitis is an overuse issue so shut him down and don't force him to do t-band work. T-band work will only add to the overuse issue. Since you've already shut him down, just make sure you bring him back SLOWLY and work on mechanics, mechanics, mechanics. It's not even out of the question you don't have him pitch for a season or two while he works on his mechanics. There really is no rush, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Really great thread and I wish you the best of luck!

quote:
Originally posted by Baseballmom323:
As a new member and a mom just starting this journey I am so glad I found this website/board.I wanted to update a bit since my original post. I had my sons pitching evaluated by a former highschool coach. He says he is "flying out" which is putting pressure on his elbow. Instead of drawing strength from his core he is trying to gain all the strength with his arm. I hope I said that correctly. We have decided to shut him down/no throwing through mid January and then he is going to start a throwing program and work on his mechanics to get ready for the season. Other than that evaluation I really have not mentioned baseball. Funny thing today when he walked in from school first thing he said to his dad was can we go hit. Dad takes him and throws to him at the LL diamonds.
quote:
Originally posted by Baseballmom323:
Dad takes him and throws to him at the LL diamonds.


A little friendly advice for dad if he is throwing BP on the diamond: make sure he is using an "L" screen. It is easy to lose track of how much harder kids start hitting the ball about that age. My ankle learned that the hard way.
quote:
Originally posted by '15 Dad:
quote:
Originally posted by Baseballmom323:
Dad takes him and throws to him at the LL diamonds.


A little friendly advice for dad if he is throwing BP on the diamond: make sure he is using an "L" screen. It is easy to lose track of how much harder kids start hitting the ball about that age. My ankle learned that the hard way.
I told dads at LL all-star BP they were nuts to pitch without a screen. They teased me for using the screen. Over the seven weeks they all got drilled squarely. I can't imagine pitching to high school or college kids without a screen.
Last edited by RJM
They do soft toss at the diamonds. Dad learned the hard way not to pitch to him without an L screen. Funny thing that one....son told him and told him but it took getting smoked on the top of the head before that was a no go anymore. He has also recently wised up to not catching him anymore without proper equiptment.
TRhit: clarification noted Smile no pitching or throwing until January.
I would definitely get his arm checked. My son (LHP) developed soreness in arm around the 7th-8th grade year. Doctor diagnosed it as tendonities. The first evaluation at physical therapy showed he is somewhat double jointed. Where your arm should be a level 0 when held straight out, his was a -3. So even though he was not throwing curveballs, his skeletal makeup was putting pressure on his elbow as if he was. We went through 8 weeks of therapy and almost 5 years later, he religiously still does his band workouts. Last month, he signed with a big D1 program. I would have his arm looked at to make sure there isn't something skeletal causing the tendonitis. If his arm is getting sore or he is in pain, that may be a motivating factor not to work out.

This is a great thread and one I hope we can keep alive.  My son is 13 and in the seventh grade.  His interest in baseball has taken off since the fall and he spent all winter training as much as he could.  No matter how many camps or lessons I could get him it was never enough.  My concern is also about burnout but since I am not a baseball person nor do I push him I am hopeful his interest will continue.  He has met some great instructors, coaches and role models because of the sport and since he desperately wants to play in high school he is very mindful of his grades.  My wallet is lighter but I would take on a second job to keep him involved with baseball. 

I have two sons, one a 2016 Soph who lives baseball and has no problem being pushed and works on his own as well, and the second, a 7th grader who seems to like to take the easy route and shrug his shoulders. Over the last few days I have "confronted" the younger guy about his lack of urgency about anything, and he has agreed that he needs a push (though I'm pretty sure he gave me the fisheye when he agreed!). 

 

And the older guy has it all except a bit of speed. And after a game where he was caught stealing yesterday we discussed knowing his limitations, and working to improve his running in any form. But we had that conversation about 15 months ago...he doesn't like running. So my observation to him was he wasn't doing everything he could. We'll see if that settles in. 

I think that most will agree that at a certain age they begin to know so much more than their parents so it may be time to let go and let the third voice enter. A coach, his pitching instructor, or an older player you may be familiar with. Don't worry, he will come home telling you all the great this great stuff he heard from the third voice that will sound eerily familiar. Almost as if you said it yourself. Do yourself a favor, don't tell him that you have told him that before because the third voice will begin to be rejected. Just listen, nod and tell him that sounds interesting. The results are what you want.

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