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NTG's2016son is in weekly (if not more often) phone and text communication with several D1 RC and PCs. We feel blessed, but one is his dream school. The others have offered him nice packages (which dream school hasn't) despite knowing that they aren't yet his first choice. I've prodded him to ask the dream school coach just how seriously he should take their conversations by asking "Am I on your board?". The kid is afraid to ask that question for fear, I think, of getting a disappointing answer. We have never interfered with nor injected ourselves into the recruiting process other than hauling him all over creation for his HS and showcase team events and all the various camps/clinics/combines etc. Is there a time for us as parents to step into the process and pose the question to the coach for him?

Last edited by NotThatGuy
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There is a relatively recent thread somewhere on this board (my memory fails) that discusses how to respond to offers and what an appropriate timeframe to respond is.  The response to this last part discussed what, if any, expectations the offering school might have - along with some helpful advice on how to have the school outline these expectations.  It dealt with having one offer in hand while loking at another and recommended that at some point the other school (the dream school) should be asked whether or not an offer is forthcoming - with the understanding that you have good offers in hand that you wish to address.  If the current offers are open ended and those coaches are not expecting an answer before school starts, than I guess you could wait.  Otherwise, it might be time for your 2016 to go ahead a pose the question and, if they wish to continue without the offer for now, have him try to get an understanding of what they are "waiting" on.  I don't think this means they don't love the kid, they might just love another kid a little bit more.

My 2016 committed right before school started after an unofficial visit.  If was clear there was mutual interest but it took him to assert himself and make it clear he wanted to pitch at that school before they offered.  

Two thoughts. Better to know no than not know at all.  Just ask. The coaches are used to it.

Secondly how high profile is his dream school. In TX there are legitimately at least 4-5 consistently elite schools.  I would say for UT, TCU and A&M they all have at least their top 3 2016 arms committed already if not more. 

Point being the race for 2016 arms has been on for a bit.  Clearly your son's other offers are trying to accomplish that.   He should ask the dream school and if not a resounding yes think strongly about what others have said. Go where they see you as one of their guys vs a nice piece.
Originally Posted by NotThatGuy:

 We have never interfered with nor injected ourselves into the recruiting process other than hauling him all over creation for his HS and showcase team events and all the various camps/clinics/combines etc. Is there a time for us as parents to step into the process and pose the question to the coach for him?

 

I would say no, it is better to convince your kid the importance of asking this question.

Your son should have the courage to ask open and honest questions to coaches such as where am I on your recruiting board for my position, am I number 1, 5, 10 ect. We used to practice with my son asking my wife or I over and over so he became familiar with how to ask them with confidence. He should also let them know he has other offers and whether they expect to offer him a position or not.

 

Good luck! 

Originally Posted by NotThatGuy:

NTG's2016son is in weekly (if not more often) phone and text communication with several D1 RC and PCs. We feel blessed, but one is his dream school. The others have offered him nice packages (which dream school hasn't) despite knowing that they aren't yet his first choice. I've prodded him to ask the dream school coach just how seriously he should take their conversations by asking "Am I on your board?". The kid is afraid to ask that question for fear, I think, of getting a disappointing answer. We have never interfered with nor injected ourselves into the recruiting process other than hauling him all over creation for his HS and showcase team events and all the various camps/clinics/combines etc. Is there a time for us as parents to step into the process and pose the question to the coach for him?

If you are paying for your son's college I think you have a stake in the process.  It could be the difference of thousands of dollars per year you don't have to pay. 

My kids know that their "dream" school is the school that offers them the most money. 

I just hope I can keep the string of full rides going with my next kid. 

Last edited by lionbaseball
I am going to respectfully disagree with the previous post.

Now is not the time to interject on your son's behalf. He needs to have the "how interested are you conversation".   If it advances to additional negotiations/conversations about money then you participate.  This is a prime opportunity for your son to show how he communicates, etc.

There are exceptions to every rule; but, generally speaking, when a parent steps in on his or her son's behalf, it tends to bring up a number of reactions from college recruiters...almost none of them positive for the player.

 

Here are a few:

(1) While playing skills sit atop every recruiter's checklist, maturity and the fortitude to express oneself to persons in authority are on that checklist, as well. When a parent inasmuch as says that Johnny didn't have the gumption to speak for himself, those checklist boxes remain completely vacant.

(2) A frank conversation between a player and a recruiter can take the dialogue with him to a whole new level; not only revealing the recruiter's level of interest. For example, it gives the player the opportunity to speak openly about the various, good reasons why the recruiter's college is his "dream school." It tends to mean something to a recruiter when a player has researched and thought through his potential college options sufficiently to express himself cogently, and it usually means quite a bit to him when a player has good reasons for wanting to join a program.

(3) Recruiters recruit players; not parents. In fact, as well-intended and potentially beneficial as a conversation might seem from the parent's perspective, it almost always raises at least a yellow flag of caution among recruiters. Like most professions, coaching is full of uncontrollable, stressful issues. One dimension that brings some measure of control with it is recruiting, and weeding out the parents who might be inclined to meddle once the player arrives is virtually universally present in the process.

 

Best of luck to your son as he pursues his dream!

 

P.S. The road to disillusionment and transfer is littered with players who failed to dig in and really research their options and those whose parents insisted upon going to the school that cost the least when there were signs present that it might not be a good fit.

Last edited by Prepster

This is why I believe it is important to lock in as much academic money as possible so that if you are depending upon a year to year baseball scholarship it doesn't end up being a disappointment when it is lost. 

 

I never had to deal with a child and a sports scholarship so the sense of urgency for academic money was always high.  

 

My goal was always to not leave my kids with college debt nor with me with debt if I could help it.  

Once my 2015 had a couple of offers he contacted his list of preferred schools  that had showed genuine interest.  Just simply asked them where he was on their recruiting board.  

He let them know that he had some offers to consider with a time restriction and that their school was high on his list. He was recruited by mid major and academic schools and they seemed to be upfront with him. Coaches not only want to see the baseball side of their recruits but also their maturity.  

 

As a parent, I did not get involved until after the official visit and financial questions needed to be addressed. 

Last edited by JABMK

I agree, let your son ask, not you.

Be prepared for the answer, they are awaiting an answer from another player.  

Also understand that the dream school is not always the best fit.

 

Always shoot for the most $ in athletic scholarship.  You can fill in later if you qualify for academic.  

 

Best of luck!

I'd let him do the talking for sure. Nothing to gain by you stepping in.

 

FWIW, my 2016 had a big D1 "dream school" too -- with whom he was in weekly communication throughout the summer between sophomore and junior year. JP wanted that school BAD.

 

In about September, the RC told him they'd locked in on outfielders, so no dice.

 

Two takeaways:

 

1. That was cool of the coach. I'd hope any good baseball program would behave that way, and given the calendar, I'd expect your son's dream school to have already fish or cut bait by now. That's a warning flag to me.

 

2. Once his No. 1 school was off the table, JP was able to build a relationship and ultimately accept an offer at another of his top 3 schools in December. They were clear about wanting him -- and in the end, his mom and me -- and now JP too -- know it's a MUCH better fit. So today he's pumped.

 

I look forward to hearing how this works out. 

He should ask.  You guys will be driving yourself crazy out of curiosity otherwise.  Plus, they get that question ALL the time, or at least I assumed they do.  Importantly, though, the REAL question to ask is "Where am I on your Board?"  If he asks "if" he is on their board, I can almost assure you the answer will be "yes".  If you were in their shoes, what would they have to gain by answering "no".

NTG: One of the hardest parts of the recruiting process (aside from getting that "first" offer) is the whole issue of timing. For a while recruits new July 1st, but that timetable has moved up for many programs. You didn't indicate NTG Jr's position, but that plays a part as well--from what we observed Top Pitchers (hard throwing righties/LH) and catchers are targeted first' followed by power hitters, then position players.

 

My son's experience had mirrored JP's in that his #1 was followed the most by my son and communications were with the school to him as well, but it turned out they were still looking. He could tell the interest of the school was there, but not INTEREST enough to offer. He started looking at Choice #2 more closer (always liked the coaches), correspondences were personal, they saw him play at a number of showcases and a camp, and son took another tour around the campus. Other posters suggest go watching the teams play, and we found this most helpful. Son wanted to commit before senior year started, and choice #2 offered after a bigger D1 offered. In hindsight (he will tell you the same), the #2 became his "dream school" and he really didn't settle. Mutual "love" was there. He was excited that things fell in place (timing again). Son really didn't find out he was at the "top of the board" until about 2 days before the offer. 

 

I agree if the one school is the "dream" school, son should talk with the school to find where they stand; and unless the other offers are firm (no quick replay date required) it's helpful to know that answer. Most coaches are candid, though they may still be at a point of maintaining a wide net. As for your son's hesitation, I probably disagree with my college professor (policy analysis) who once said, "Don't ask the question if you can't stand the answer." Better to ask, and perhaps hold your breath? Maybe a good question is where are you in recruiting (positions) for class of 2016? This also let's you know if 7 pitchers, 3 shortstops, etc are already in the fold, that you may not otherwise have known.

 

Good luck to your son. It sounds like he has some nice options.

JP -- just a quick clarification for us newbies.  How could your son have weekly communication between sophomore and junior year if the RC isn't supposed to email or call you until Sept 1?  Was he emailing or calling them, was it through a coach, or am I just missing something?  My 2017 has received many emails, but they are all "we can't say anything yet" except come to our camp/fill out our recruiting questionnaire.  

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