My Son Wants to Quit Baseball...

What an awful decision to have to make.

My first thought is what about summer ball?

My second thought is to be careful saying "only playing right field." As you get older, every position is very important. I don't think in HS you can hide a kid in the corner like you can in LL.

I don't wish I was in your tough position. Best of luck.

Sounds like it's time to hang it up. Once the game is no fun, looking at RF as some sort of banishment to baseball oblivion, then it's time to get out.

Could be he's peaked out at the competitive level in baseball and sees what's needed at the next level and sees the writing on the wall. Plus, there's another sport that he's excelling so maybe it's time to concentrate on that sport. By time kids get to high school, they figure these things out and they know whether it's time to stick it out or move on..

I agree with biggerpapi - play summer and fall ball to work on skills. Unfortunately size is an issue for many coaches. Who knows how much your son will grow over the next few months. One of son's best friends was told he didn't make the last cut - it was based on size.

Being on the team really isn't lost time. If the coach sees him daily and sees that he is hustling and when tryouts roll around an improvement - who knows?

5 games this week? That's a no-no down here! wow!!

I would urge him not to quit during the season. That burns a bridge. In future years, that coach may retire, or your son will grow older and be eligible for teams coached by others. If as you say the problem is the coach, it is a problem that will pass in time. But quitting will label your son as a quitter, and that will keep him from ever surviving tryout cuts in the future.

As for summer and fall, not bad ideas, but I would consider whether maybe your son needs some time off. 14/15 is the age where lots of boys decide that baseball isn't the most important thing for them any more. Maybe your son is one of those boys. Sometimes parents call this "burn out" but often it's nothing more than the kids recognizing that they've hit their ceiling and it's time to move on to more productive pursuits.

Also, ask someone who has seen the team, and whose opinion you respect, to give it to you straight as far as assessing your boy. You wouldn't be the first parent to suffer from rose colored glasses syndrome. Get yourself some objective information. Maybe the coach is right all along.

As for size, time may well take care of that. Lots of kids grow quite a bit from age 14 on. If that's the issue, then he could stick with baseball and continue developing his skills in the hopes that the genes might yet kick in and give him more size and strength to work with.

Whether coach is right or wrong, playing time is an area where you may not properly question the coach's decisions. You need to steer clear of any attempt to discuss such things. The best your son can do is stick with it, work hard to improve, and maybe when he gets to varsity age he'll get a fresh look from a different coach.

If your son agrees to try that path, then summer play (for coaches who appreciate him, who will play him and offer sound instruction) can only help.

We know one side of the story, and let's assume it's 100% accurate.

Some coaches have a hard time noticing progress. My two sons played for the same coach for four years. He seemingly saw in them, each year, how they played when he first saw them, and kept them on the bench, playing instead those players who looked good the first year, including his own son.

When they moved up to HS Ball and everyone had to try out for a coach who had not seen any of them before, my sons made the teams and three of the prior coach's favorites, including his son, did not.

Perhaps some time away, playing for a new coach, will rejuvenate your son's interest. If it doesn't, let him make his decision after educating him on the responsibility to accept all the consequences of that decision.

quote:

I would urge him not to quit during the season. That burns a bridge. In future years, that coach may retire, or your son will grow older and be eligible for teams coached by others. If as you say the problem is the coach, it is a problem that will pass in time. But quitting will label your son as a quitter, and that will keep him from ever surviving tryout cuts in the future.

I urge him not to quit during the season........never let someone run you off........if he leaves let it be on his own accord........years down the road, he will regret (however small) quitting during the season.........there is honor in sticking it out.....and possible redemtion of the joy of the sport........

Here's our advice for whatever it is worth. First, let your son work it out. You mention that the coach has cussed out other parents. He is the norm, not the exception. I don't know of any coach that wants a players parents questioning his playing decisions. Parents need to stay out of those type of issues.

Second, being on a baseball team is more than just playing or starting. Everyone on that roster has a role. I'm sure if your team is like most other high school teams, they have mid week scrimmages, and situational practices in which everyone participates. Those scrimmages and practices are just as important as the games to many coaches. If your son is good, then his skills may motivate someone else that doesn't want to lose their position to your son. You'll have to ask your son, what motivates him? Is he setting goals and working harder in practice to achieve those goals? I only ask that because you also mention that:

"He's not learning anything, and he's not developing his skills at all."

Again, that may be the problem at hand. Because practice and scrimmages are where you learn and develop skills...it's not always in regular season games. The coach may have picked up on that. I don't know your son and for all we know he is the hardest working player on the team, but the fact that you mention he isn't learning anything makes us wonder if maybe that isn't being projected to the coach. If that is the case, then your son has already "quit" in his mind.

The only way to turn this situation around is giving 1000% effort, learning, developing and setting goals to get out of that mental rut. If he truly loves baseball, he needs to truly love the journey to get there as well. That means paying dues, working harder, hustling and doing everything he is asked to do and more in practice.

There used to be a kid we knew who was a smallish infielder who also never played much...but he never gave up trying. He was the inspiration in the dug-out, leading the team in other ways like spirit and upbeat chatter on the bench. He usually only got in games that were blow-outs, but when he got up to bat, he received more vocal support from his team mates than anyone else. He never even thought about quitting. He was having fun just being on the team, with his friends and for the love of the game. At the end of the season, the coach gave him a special award for being the most inspirational player on the team. He never played much, but I guarantee that he learned and developed in many ways other than just baseball.

Quitting is usually not the answer. It's kind of a disease in our opinion. Once you do it once, it's easier to justify doing it again and again.

Have your son turn it up a notch and see what happens. The coach hasn't cut him, he is on the roster and he must see something in your son right? If things still don't change then at least your son can hold his head high and at least know in his mind that he gave it his best effort.

This sort of problem occurs even at the college level

We have two players who are currently sophomores and during the frosh year saw virtually no action---one is now starting meeting week games and is 2-0 while the other is coming out of the and leading the team in saves.

In many cases it just takes time and perhaps a bit of luck

Highwinds,
You aren't alone. Lots of folks out there have been or are in your position.

We were there as sophomores. Better bat, better glove and better work ethic than the kids ahead of us. But we never sniffed the Varsity field, maybe a clean up AB or something. Played all of JV.

Junior year starts out....we play all the intra squads and appear to be the number one. Opening day.....out trots a senior ahead of us....GGGGRRRRRRRR. Same thing for 6 games....getting only a DH here or there....Son felt let down and was at that decision point. Thought about hanging it up but he loves it too much. He decided he'd stay and work hard. Then he gets a start. Goes 2-3 with a double and triple. That was 15 games ago and we haven't sat an inning since. We've kept hitting and making plays.

Sooner or later..it all works out like it's supposed to. Even if it ain't like we want it to.

quote:

I have heard that he's sworn at parents who tried to talk to him about their kids' playing time.

Parents should not approach coaches about playing time or positions. Let your son grow up. he should ask the coach how he can earn more playing time.

"I really do feel that the coach has failed him."

The coach has not failed your son. Your son has failed to impress the coach enough to gain playing time.

"Any kid who once loved baseball the way he did would not want to quit."

A fourteen year old who is willing to quit based on an experience with one coach may not have as much passion to play the game as you believe.

"He's not learning anything, and he's not developing his skills at all."

Players learn in practice. They gain experience in games. If he's practicing he's learning and developing.

"The team could care less."

The game of baseball will go on without any one player. Ask Barry Bonds.

"I really do feel that the coach has failed him".


How so?

.

How so?

It could be that every time the coach offers his son a piece of Trident© he gives him one of these instead...

highwinds,

Sorry to see your son in this posistion.

Lots of good advice so far but I want to emphize one point. Do not let him quit before this season is over. After the season all bets are off.

Short story.

A friend and summer teammate of son, a jr. in HS quite his HS team mid season because he felt he was not getting the playing time he deserved. He is a good kid and a good player but unfortunatly this summer he will have to put up with the inevitable whispers that he quit on his high school team. I must admitt that I will view him through different colored glasses.

He has been playing since he was 4 (now 14).

I can't tell you the number of boys I've seen get burned out over the years because of this very problem.

At age 6 my son decided he wanted to play s****r. It killed me but his friends were doing it and so I let him. He played t-ball for 1 year before this decision. Even worse to me, he kept playing s****r until he was 11. One day he comes to me and says he was done with s****r, that he wanted to try it out and realized he no longer liked it (halleluiah!). Picked his glove back up and hasn't look backed since. I say all that to say this...sometimes there may be other "things" he may want to try. Let him. But whatever you do, don't let him quit midseason.

Quitting the team over playing time is not the answer to your son's problem's.
It just teaches him to quit when the going gets to tough.

What can the bench player do to help out his team??
First off be ready when you do get the chance.
Watch the opposing pitcher, check to see what he's throwing and his tendencies with an 2-1 count, Ect.
Steal sign's from the opposing coaches.
Anything that helps your team to win, outside of cheating.

At 14 year's of age a player has no idea what there potential is or could be?
If and when a player decide's to quit they need to have no REGRETS with there decision.
EH

He really shouldn't quit during mid or late season. At this point, he should finish out the season, then take a step back and decide if it's time to move on.

If there's still that drive to play the game, then maybe a good summer league might be the way to go and take it from there.

However, once it's not fun anymoore, it's time to walk away.

So he wants to stop playing? I see no problem. Remember this is a game. In the past he has given up something "else" to play baseball. This is no different ----- other than the fact that you are asking a biased crowd --- after all this is a baseball forum and baseball is revered here. I say support him if he wants to move on ---- don’t criticize him. This could be the start of something positive in his life.
Fungo

He's only 14. A lot of things change between 14 and 18 (senior year). If he loves the game but is discouraged over playing time, I'd suggest putting him on a good (but fun) Summer team where he could get some playing time and reenergize. Baseball is a game that should be fun.. so have some!

Then maybe put him on an instructional fall team. Then work hard in the offseason.. he could make a big jump between now and next year if he really tried.

Recently had a parent call me to say his son decided to quit BB and drop out of college. His son was a Senior at a D1 university here in Nor Cal and a starting "Big Bat" in the lineup. This parent spent hours personally working with him and coaching/financing his teams. But in the end it came down to this young man making his own decision about what he wants to do with his own life.

There should be some things in life that belong solely to the individual. Whether to play a game as an "extracurricular activity" should be one that belongs solely to your son.

Your son should have the right to decide how he wants to spend his "recreational time" all things with it being legal and above board of course.

If my son came to me and said he wanted to quit BB even though he has played it most of his life that is his decision. He has the right to decide that for himself.

Let him grow and develope and trust what you have taught him will be at the root to help him make good choices.
JMO