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Several years ago my Dad and I cut down a huge dead Oak tree in our back yard. It took us several weekends to finally get all the limbs and wood out of the yard. The stump was an eye sore that hung around for many more years. After I had been married and out of the house for a few years I offered to pay a guy with a stump grinder to come and get rid of the stump. My Dad said "I aint paying no one to do something I can do." Dad the stump has been there for 10 years. Mom is sick of it. "Im going to dig it out like we used to do on our farm."

Well a couple of years went by and I come over to the house and there he is out there with a shovel digging at that stump. Cutting roots with an axe and working like crazy on that stump. I am worn out and simply have no desire to join this fight. So I walk out to the backyard. "Dad come on man let me get the stump grinder over here." "Boy would you shut the he ll up about that F_____ stump grinder. If you dont want to help me then go back in the house." Well now I am ticked off at him. He is in his late 50's and he is out in the sun sweating his self to death. So I do what I knew all along I was going to have to do. I grab a shovel and start to digging. The day ends with no progress in sight. Blisters on my hand. And Dad seeming more determined than ever he was going to beat that stump.

Time would pass even a couple of years would pass and now and then Dad would get in a few hours on the stump. I stopped by one day and he was not there. I could see the huge stump with mounds of dirt around it. I walked out there and the stump was black. He had drilled holes in it and set it on fire. But that dam stump looked no worse for the wear. It was still there and looking just as strong as ever. I walked inside and talked to my Mom. "Hey let me call the stump grinder guy and get that taken care of Mom." "Oh no! Dont you dare do that. He is determined to get that stump out of the ground. He would be furious if you did that. Just let him be he is not going to stop until he gets it." Mom its been years since we cut that tree down. How often does he work on it? "Well he works on it an hour here or there whenever he gets the chance. But thats not the point Ken."

Then one night my Mom calls me to come to the house. This was very unusual because she never called at night to ask me to come over. I asked her if everything was alright and she said just come over. "Son I have cancer. Its not good. I have a large tumor in between my lungs. Its wrapped around everything and they can not operate. I have to have chemo and radiation. I just wanted you to hear it from me."

On the ride home I thought about that stump. I thought about how it had to be done and before my Dad passed away. And I knew it had to be done the right way the way he wanted it to be done. And I knew he was not going to have the strength to do it. During his illness we would pound away on it from time to time. We never got it before he passed away. At his funeral I thought about that dam stump.

Well yesterday I got that ***. I finally got it. My mom was there. When I finally got it I sat in the dirt surrounding that stump and I cried. And she hugged me and we both cried. And then we hugged. And I have never been prouder of myself in my entire life. I didnt quit. My Dad never quit. We did it and we did it the right way. His way. I took my truck and rolled it over to the side of the yard. And my Mom said she is going to plant flowers around it to remind her of his work ethic and how he would never give up and never quit. How he would never take the easy way out.

Now I know why he wouldnt call that stump grinder. Tell your kids that are playing baseball - Dont look for the stump grinder. Dont rely on a stump grinder. It will take away what this quest is all about. You dig in and you fight. And you may not finish that stump in time. You may not finish when you want to finish or the way you wanted to finish. But you never quit. You never give up. You never give in. You chop on that *** and you fight and you do it the right way. And one day you will win. Because you did it the right way.

If we had called that stump grinder there would be no stump to plant those flowers around. I would not have that beautiful stump to remind me of my Dad. What we see as stumps in life I believe with all my heart are simply Gods way of teaching us what is truly special. Without those hard times , without the struggles we would not be who we are. We would not appreciate what we should appreciate.

So ball players when you find a stump in the way of your dreams you have choices to make. Decisions to make. Those stumps will make you are break you. But don't curse them. Embrace the challenge. And when all is said and done. If you make the right choices those stumps will be the things you are the most proud of. How you refused to give in. How you refused to quit. And how you dealt with it. Yes, the right way.
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Coach, you got me. As I mentioned in a recent post I've turned into Dick Vermeil in my old age. Now you go and have tearing up in my office. I can't leave the dam office until this rush of emotion passes. Thanks a lot!

Another beautiful post. Lessons are to be learned from nearly everything we do in life. We just have to smart enough to see them. You obviously are.

Thanks for making me smarter too.
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Coach May,

I think it is a good time to thank you from all of us for the contributions you have made here, and particularly the influence and wisdom that you have so freely and openly given. It is clear to all that have read your posts that your's is the wisdom of the generations. Not trendy tweets, but stump wisdom if you will: old, gnarly, hard earned and close to soul and earth...as any true wisdom should be.

I don't know you other than through your posts, I didn't know your father...but I have to believe that your father stood just a little taller, and smiled a bit more often knowing how well you understood the messages he had learned and offered to you. I also have to believe that somewhere he is smiling proud as he can be...watching you pass his lessons on to the next generation, to your players and to those to those of us who are fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of your wisdom here.

Thank you and God Bless.

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Thank you so much I really appreciate those kind words. But I can honestly say I have learned way more from those on this site and received way more in return from people like you than I have or will ever give back.

I was very fortunate to have a Dad like I had. But I expect many here were just as fortunate. I wish I could have one day , heck I would take five minutes just to tell my Dad I really got it. Like most kids and young men most of the lessons I learned I learned once I got old enough to be a Dad myself. He really was a lot smarter and wiser than I ever thought he was.
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I can say without reservation that I am a better person for knowing you.





I have read post for years on here from Coach May. Several weeks ago I talked to him on the phone. I enjoyed the conversation so much, so honest and supportive.I felt like I made a new friend that day.It was a pleasure talking to him, and I know I will share conversation again.
Simply amazing!!! Thanks Coach May for a well written,heartfelt, informative post that will forever be pinned up somewhere for my wife, two boys and me to read when a "stump" gets in the way.

YoungGunDad-
I guess we "Georgians" think alike b/c I did the exact same thing you did before I read any of the responses.

Thanks again Coach May!!!!
Ken, about halfway through your story about the stump, I started thinking about what might be my favorite book of all time. It is 'The Old Man and the Boy', by Robert Ruark. As you may know, Robert Ruark hailed from your part of the country. So many parallels between your story and that book. You're a Robert Ruark kind of man, and I mean that as a sincere compliment.
I head over to the HSBW occasionally when I'm looking for more insight to baseball, recruiting and insight.

I have met Coach May. We have spent some hours in the same ball park and I am impressed with his baseball knowledge and acumen more every day.

I wonder how much different my baseball career would have been if I had found a coach of that caliber to help guide me.

I certainly would have demanded to work as a catcher, instead of wanting to be the second coming of Mike Schmidt. Albeit with a higher OBP but much lower SLG percentage.

What a great story about the stump. I feel much the same way about hunting and fishing my my father or that he made me finish the body work on a 1971 Dodge Truck before I could take my drivers license test.
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Originally posted by MClements:
What a great story about the stump. I feel much the same way about hunting and fishing my my father or that he made me finish the body work on a 1971 Dodge Truck before I could take my drivers license test.

Indeed - hunting and fishing - it was about so much more than that...

I had a chance today to think about Coach May's timeless story about working on an old piece of wood. We got up early this morning and it was thirty one degrees yet, the sun was bright. A classic, late fall day on the North Coast...

Began raking leaves like Coach May's father chopped on that stump all those years ago. Began thinking about what might have been or how things could have been while toiling with the mundane task at hand...

Wondered if I had been too impatient with my own kids while being too focused on a career...

Wondered why it was so easy to let my grandson basically do whatever he wanted while never even closely losing my patience with him...

Wondered why I'd ever paid a lawn care service to do my leaves when I was robbing myself the opportunity to stay in better shape...

Wondered if I'd only taken better care of myself, would I have had to undergo surgery to repair my heart...

With all that however, I was thanking God for the opportunity to rake leaves today and watch my five year old grandson folic in leaf piles without a care of him messing them up. Perhaps it was a melancholy day (only a tad) but in the end, I was thankful for what it had given me. A chance to reflect on things and a chance to be hopeful for the future by appreciating the blessings of today...
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