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Parents of student athletes who have successfully gone through the baseball recruiting process: as you look back, what would you say are your top 3 key learnings for those of us in the thick of it right now?  We see bits and pieces of your wisdom in different threads, but would be great to see what you think matters most.  Thanks in advance.

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Hmm, good question.

Obviously there is a lot of  learning and sometimes it gets overwhelming and we lose our way.

The best advice I can give that I feel matters most....

Don't let it overwhelm you. Everyone is different, don't compare your son to anyone.  Have him evaluated when he is ready. Dont go broke before college. Let it be fun for everyone in your family.

Guide your son through the process, don't do the work for him and never make excuses. Don't get pissed at him because he isn't performing to your standards or doesn't seem to care as much as you do. Keep it simple, let the coaches coach whether you like them or not. Remember it's his journey, not yours. 

Which leads to....ENJOY THE RIDE. It won't last forever.

Sorry if that is more than 3.

TPM is spot on.  I would like to add:

     Cherish and appreciate the time spent going to practices, lessons, tournaments, games and such.  It is an excellent opportunity to have meaningful parents/player/siblings bonding and no better way to strengthen a family.  The playing won't last forever but the memories will. 

    The temptation will be great but after the game refrain from lecturing your son on the mistakes he made during the game or the missed opportunities.  Believe me he knows what he did wrong and feels terrible. I was fortunate that every now and then my son came to ME asking for advice on things that happened during the game or showcase. That made my day. 

     Trust In The Process - Trust In Him.  Everything happens for a reason.  A negative thing can turn into a positive learning experience. If he doesn't get that D1 offer and must go to D3 there is a reason.  He may find his perfect spouse there (like all of us are) or be the next CEO of a Fortune 500 because of academics instead of ball.  We may not agree with the coach, the program, the hype, the expenses but this will all work itself out. 

Look for the right fit for the player.  The right school (i.e. this is a school desired if baseball is not in the decision making loop), level of play, and coach.  If any of these are not the right fit the player may be very disappointed or frustrated.  Not that there is not value in dealing with adversity but it is tough enough without additional hurdles.  Answer's to all three of those are not going to result in certainties but due diligence allows the player to be an informed decision maker. Look at the roster turn over of Freshman players in on many rosters.  After the first year there is a significant number of players that move due primarily to one of those three reasons.

College camps are helpful in seeing where the player fits among players who obviously have some interest in a particular school.  My son's coach did "discover" some players at the camps but for the most part it is a place the coaches get a chance to see players in a controlled and game environment.  Usually there are some players who were encouraged to go to the camp to get a final evaluation, the coaches are focusing on these players.  They are a good experience and often have some learning value but don't over estimate the value of the camp in being picked out of a crowd.  If camps are ran by the head coach (not sure where NCAA stands on that at this point) you get a chance to see how well the coach organizes and manage a day's event.  I saw one camp that was an organizational disaster with regards to efficiency and value.  Best camp I saw was by a DIII coach that manages a very competitive program. 

The metrics do matter for many coaches.  Speed is a major player at DI schools.  Most players are sub 7.0 60s, the exception are the true power hitters at 1B, C's obviously track as slower runners.  RHPs generally need 86-87 minimum velo to get on the coaches RADAR.  Not saying it isn't possible but they do look for velo and the players potential to increase.  Side arm RHPs can be in the 83 or greater but they have to get results.  I think many coaches like a solid side arm pitcher for a different look especially if they have natural movement and can get ground ball outs.

I guess I'll go with a fourth one based on some other relevant threads.  Having a high school or travel coach that has relationships or credibility with college coaches is very helpful to get a foot in the door.  The player still has to perform but college coaches are sorting through a lot of players that have very similar talents.  If they have coaches they trust recommending a player it opens the door. 

 

 

The recruiting process is a great opportunity for your son to grow up and learn how to effectively deal with adults much sooner than he otherwise would have.  He will learn how to communicate better - on the phone, in person, and via the written word.  He will mature right before your eyes if you let him.  Coach him lightly but let him find his way and take responsibility for the outcomes.  You'll be amazed at what you see.

Try to focus on the real goal (my opinion) of recruiting - getting the best college education he can while still being able to play.  While I can't stand the NCAA, they are right with one of their slogans - most kids will be professional at something other than their sport.  In my opinion, too many families make college decisions or set goals with too much emphasis on the baseball piece, some seemingly ignore the actual college side all together.  Some players walk away from great opportunities in lower divisions seemingly with the sole goal of getting to tell people they are going to play at a D1.  There's a reason the transfer rate is so high and it's often due to trying to force a fit where one doesn't really exist.

Remember who actually loves your son and who doesn't.  You love your son.  Many coaches will say or imply they do - almost always they don't.  Coaches are paid to win.  Your son is a potential tool used to ensure job security.  Everyone has a goal in the process, prioritize yours and stick with it.

It's a tough process to enjoy.  You desperately want for your son to get what he wants and often times it doesn't appear to work out that way.  There are days it tears your guts out.  Be supportive.  Be involved but don't do it for him.  It's a tremendous opportunity to bond as a family and learn some life lessons.  Lastly, try to remember that almost every parent thinks their son is more skilled than he actually is.  That's because we're parents - it's our job to believe that.

To add, but this is nothing new:

1)  Go to as many games as you can.  You never know when it will be the last.

2)  Make friends with the other parents, then sit far far away.  Cheer for the whole team, not just your son.

3)  Everything happens for a reason.  You just don't know it at the time.

4)(sorry)   Keep a travel baseball budget once your child plays in college. You are going to want to travel to see him play, then championships, hotels, food, taking your son out to eat....as well as another player or two, fundraising, golf tournaments, etc.  Don't think the buck stops at the end of HS travelball lol. 

1. Try to relax and be patient. Your son will bloom when he blooms and no amount of parental angst is going to make that happen sooner than nature intends.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words. College coaches will say many things, including some that you desperately want to hear, but at the end of the day it is what they actually do that matters.

3. It will almost certainly be a crazy, thrilling, unpredictable ride. In the words of the legendary Tom House, your heart will break a thousand times before this journey is over. It will also soar with pride and joy as you watch your son grow his wings and fly.  Enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts!

Make the same parenting decisions and hold him accountable to his family and community responsibilities just as you would without baseball.

Love him for who he is outside of baseball and make sure he knows that.

You both should work the plan but you both should make sure you enjoy today - enjoy everything special about the HS years.

1. Have a plan and work the plan:  This means poring over Princeton,  US News, Fiske, and other resources, and really understand what are the options and what is important for YOUR SON, not you. Large school, small school, locations, get a feel for the vibe of a school. Spend evening after evening talking through these issues. Match GPA and test scores to where he will fit academically, forgetting about baseball. Talk about majors, interests, girls, what college life is like, get to really know your son in ways you probably did not know before these talks. Add in baseball after you fully understand 2) below. Part of the plan includes what you can afford and how academic, needs, and athletic $$ work. Plan that he will not have athletic money as the truth is that there is a 75% drop out rate from freshmen to seniors in baseball.  Plan to spend a lot to visit and go to games. Add this into the budget and even if you do this it will be lower than you expected. 

Once you get the school profile and know where he fits baseball wise, then make a list of top 30 programs and start to contact them to let them know your sons interest. Keep the plan and keep working it all the way through the process. There will be ups and down but keep an even keel and trust the plan. 

2. Get a realistic unbiased view of where your son fits in the baseball world. College baseball is hard, REALLY HARD, and you need to have an independent view of where he fits. The D(number)  means nothing and competing for a spot at the top D1 program in the country is no different to the players who are competing for the last roster spot and the worst DIII in the country. Your son will be competing with "big grown hairy men" when he walks on the field so get real on where he can earn a spot. Go to lots of college games to see for yourself. Everyone on the college field is all region something and most likely your son will not be something special compared to his teammates. You plan should have stretch, realistic, easy, baseball skill schools as well as academic. 

3. College coaches are a bunch of used car salesmen. (during the recruiting process at least)They will say all kinds of things to make you feel good, but have your filter on and think about things from their perspective not you or your son.  Make sure you talk to other players, parents, professors, trainers,  about a program during the process. The recruiting coach in particular should be very suspect in your eyes. Until you have an offer in writing, it is all a bunch of BS and talk, so make sure you have multiple options as you can not trust what a coach says during this time in the process. 

There are lots of others but I think these are the three most important.

Good luck!

Great thread idea Midwest Mom.  Here are my three:

1.  Don’t get caught up in the D1, D2, D3 circus.  There are kids that are unquestionably D1 talents.  But frankly those are few and far between.  The are a whole lot more kids that fall on the fringe — can they make a D1 program… maybe.  Will they sit for two or three years?  Maybe.  Just because they sit on the bench — that doesn’t mean they are excluded from the early morning lifting, the 3 hour practices, etc… From what I have heard first hand — that can be a grind, especially if you aren’t getting even a whiff of the field

 Find a place where your kid will feel good about his role on the team — whatever that is.   Don’t let your or your son’s ego drive you to make a wrong decision.  The kids from Cal Lutheran were just as happy on the field at Appleton as the guys from Florida were in Omaha.  

2.  Fit and Love.  If you had asked me in his sophomore year of high school whether he was going to attend a small liberal arts school in the Midwest — I’d have thought you were crazy.  But after visiting a number of schools all over the country — my son was positive about his choice for many more reasons than baseball.  While we are only a little over a month into it — so far, he has never sounded happier. At the end of the day — isn’t that what we want for our kids..to be happy.  Will that continue throughout the year and over the whole four years — I sure hope so.

3.  Have fun. Don’t let the fear of the future spoil the present.   Enjoy the last few games you are going to watch.  Trust me… it isn’t the same getting a blow by blow via text of his outing.  I miss everything about watching him.  I have a feeling the spring will be tough, especially this first year.

 

1. CAST A WIDE NET

Forget D1, D2, D3. There are outstanding baseball programs and learning facilities at the D3 level and there are crappy baseball programs and diploma mills at the D1 level. This whole thing is about 'finding the right fit' socially, economically , academically and Baseball. Most kids / parents overreach and chase the same 4-5 schools ( All D1 of course ) That is a potentially fatal mistake.

*Only 7% of HS players will play NCAA baseball.....Only 2% at the Division 1 level .......http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/research/estimated-probability-competing-college-athletics

Cast a WIDE net . Look a multiple schools out of state . Remember the primary goal is a guaranteed roster spot and a solid undergrad degree. And in order to make that goal a reality you need OFFERS. It doesn't matter if it's a D3 guaranteed  roster spot or baseball money from a D1 . You need offers to make the process move forward. NCAA RC's don't usually move until someone else moves first. Don't forget that. A guaranteed roster spot offer at a D3 becomes an email or text to the D1 that your son has been speaking with  saying something to the effect of: 

" Coach, I received this offer from Cal Lutheran , it's generous offer. The school is a good fit and I'm considering accepting but I want to check with you first to see where you guys are at with me"

Also, don't forget , unless you are a blue chip recruit that is eligible for the 2019 MLB draft . You really don't pick the school. THEY pick you . So, cast a wide net.

 

2. LEARN HOW TO VET INTEREST 

The biggest problem in recruiting is that most parents / Kids  do not know how to VET interest . Learn the difference between 'Follow' and 'Prospect' . Non-personalized email, Camp invites. Those are mass mailers sent to a gizzilion kids. Those kids are at best 'Follows' . Recruiting coordinators CALL and TEXT 'prospects' . They do not call 'Follows'.

The best way to tell if you're a prospect is the phone / text. No phone call / texts ? They are not interested . Move on.

Don't forget , you need  'Offers'. if your son is on the phone or texting a RC he needs to find out where they are at with their 2019 class. Have your son ask the question. Where is he on the 'Board' ??  All programs categorize their prospects on an ink board . Is he 1,2,3,4 on the depth chart for SS's ?  Your son needs to ask. Most kids are afraid to ask but the culture in NCAA baseball is the RC's will tell you the truth.

Don't forget when a RC or HC wants a kid they act fast. There is no ambiguity . If there is not an offer, and you are talking w/ RC  it is because they have interest in another player at your position and YOU are the back up if that kid goes somewhere else. The other kid I'm referring to, ALREADY has the offer . He just hasn't agreed to it.  Remember most programs recruit anywhere from 50-200 kids a year and only commit  8-14 kids a year. They can shoot and miss. You can't ! you get one shot at this.......and you gotta get it right!

 

3. GO WHERE THEY LOVE YOU

When it is decision time,  pick the school where everybody in the baseball dept is  absolutely stoked to have you on the team. This is extremely important.

And lastly , when it's time for your son to make his decision . When there is a deadline. As a parent , STAY OUT OF IT   ( I didn't talk to my son the last 24-36 hours before he committed )

It's your sons life and his decision. Let him make it .

Last edited by StrainedOblique

Focus on development and training 13 and 14...winning is fine but the skills learned when transitioning to the big field need to be correct and ingrained deep.

Find a travel team that fits your budget, goals and focuses on player development and supporting the recruiting process. Winning will happen if they do it well anyway. 

Don't rush the process, for some it will happen early others late. Start preparing your son to talk to with coaches at a young age, if they aren't naturally outgoing the first few months of coach contact can be stressful because they aren't quite prepared for the adult conversation. It goes really fast anyway! 

Enjoy your time with them before college...mine has been gone 4 weeks and seems like a year. They aren't your little buddy anymore but they do want and need adult support, love and care. Don't baby them but always support them. 

An old, wise, local baseball sage, told me once, "for a kid to play college baseball, he has to get past the car keys and the girlfriend."  I never knew what he meant????  Until this past summer.

The window for most boys to be inspired to play, then be recruited to play, and finally commit to play college baseball is probably 13 - 18 years old.  Within those five years boys go from being "boys," to being "men." 

As 9and7 says above, "There are days it tears your guts out."  He's referring to the recruiting process.  And it will.  But at some point, the back-slapping bear hug of a dad, or the warm embrace of a mom, just does not compare to the comfort of another teen age "soul mate."  The desire to spend time with "Sally" at times competed heavily with the desire to work on baseball.  Especially during those darkest of dark days.  And let's be honest, baseball, as we all know, is not a game that loves you back as much as......"Sally."  "Sally" will always love you (in HS anyway), but baseball is a cruel mistress and for the teenage boy spending time with "Sally" often outweighed the desire to spend time with fickle and cruel "Baseball." 

And of course hanging with the guys on a Friday night or some random summer night, cruising town in a car, the freedom of a car, is also tempting.  You want your son to have "a life" but so many temptations out there that can and will distract him from attaining his goal he set to claim at age 13.  

We all want our players to still have a "life," as they go through this process.  We want them to experience those important young life events, but to say that it can all be balanced equally (baseball 50% and normal teen life 50%) would be disingenuous.  There is a huge sacrifice these kids make to accomplish their goal.  They do pay a price, if they can stay the course.     

Thankfully mine did, and made it "past the car keys and the girlfriend," but it was a squeaker.  

Last edited by #1 Assistant Coach

Lots of lessons and tough to narrow it down to three.   

1) Have a plan, and be willing to change the plan if he is not getting the desired results.  We changed scope a couple times until we finally stumbled on the right situation.  It was a lot of work, but I'm convinced after 20+ months we figured it out, and my son got the best possible outcome because of his flexibility.

2) Evaluate coaches by what they do, not what they say.   Coaches will blow smoke up your butt...be prepared.  They will tell you everything you want to hear.  Young recruits get a false sense of secruity because they believe every word the coach is saying, but until they offer it doesn't mean anything.   Until your son verbally commits, he needs to continue looking at new schools and keep the communication level high....no exceptions.   Every time my son would cross a school off his list for one reason or another, we had to add at least one more school to the list.  

3) Don't be afraid to say "no" or "can I think this over some more".   Be patient and wait for the right fit based on your options.    Coaches will only offer if they have a reason, typically they want to get a recruit before someone else does.  It has to be the right fit to say "yes".

Shoveit4Ks posted:

1. Map out the schools where he wants to attend/play baseball.

2. Don't let the RC pressure you, be clear about your timeline to decide.

3. Enjoy the ride, before you know it he will at college and you'll be missing him around the house.

Love your short, concise to the point reply! Hope all is well.

#clemsonfamily

Last edited by TPM

1) You never know who is watching you. You may think you are playing some throw away game on a nowhere field and the right guy is watching you at the right time. Always act like you are being watched.

2) Grades and test scores are extremely important. Chances are you wont be getting a full ride for baseball no matter how good you are. One more A in HS or 1 point higher on the ACT can mean more in merit aid than you ever realize when you are half heartedly studying for these things.

3) Put more resources into getting more athletic than continuous individual hitting or pitching lessons. Getting to ANY level of college baseball is very competitive and hard to do. Guys are working very hard on strength, speed, and agility to get the edge to get as much scholarship money as possible. The earlier you realize this and start as well the better off you are. Put as much resources as possible toward athletic development and do one offs on individual hitting and pitching lessons as needed.

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