Top 3 takeaways from parents who have been there

Fabulous responses in this thread.

1) I'd rather my son play on a winning D3 team than a loser D1 team.

2) Sometimes, you have to make a decision based on your own instincts which may go against the so-called "expert's" evaluation.  I had people tell me that my son would be lucky to get on the field at the D3 level let alone ever play above that level.  We went and watched the different levels of baseball and we could see with our own eyes that my son had skills to compete at higher levels.  The main thing about the upper levels of baseball is some programs will not accept you if your measurables such as 60 time and arm strength are not above some minimum threshold.  You may be a great hitting shortstop, for example, but if your measurables are below the given threshold, you will be disqualified for some programs.  Find out what these measurables are for your son's position and encourage him to exceed them at all possible.

3) Baseball recruiting is not like football recruiting.  In baseball, you have to put yourself in front of a decision-maker in order to get an offer from them.  Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  If you want to play in the south, for example, you have to find a way to expose yourself to southern coaches.  In general, and obviously there are many exceptions, the best players play in the south.   

infielddad posted:
  • It is talent coupled with commitment, mental toughness and the spirit of our sons which most often leads to success above HS. Talent can be “quantified” and many pay a lot of money for that number.  In my view, talent, alone, often isn’t the feature which separates success, or the lack of it, especially above HS.  Borrowed from our son: “success occurs when a thousand hours of preparation meets one moment of opportunity.” 

 

As my son's pitching coach would say.."BOOM!" Love the quote as well. Going to share with my son and the students and athletes in my life! Thanks.

Recruiting

- Get a proper, unbiased evaluation of your son's talent so he can target the correct baseball programs. Don't be obsesssed with D1. Look for a quality baseball experience at the right level. If a kid only gets one D1 offer chances are that coach made a mistake.

- Have a business plan on how to get in front of the right college programs combined with what you can afford.

- Don't drag your kid through the process. He has to want it. Sometimes the best help is asking him if he's reaching his goals laying on the coach. Understand sometimes he needs to lay on the coach.

- Always act confident. If you make a bad play don't put your head down. Hustle back into position and make the next play. Understand there's a noticeable difference between confidence and arrogance.

- Before investing money and time into the process the kid has to understand he will have two full time jobs. Have someone explain a typical daily schedule for an student-athlete. Your first question will be, "When does he catch up on sleep?"

 

Great stuff.

StrainedOblique mentioned something all should remember. The coach drives the bus, they decide who they want and who they don't want.

Sometimes waiting around for that offer from the dream school probably isn't going to come, so move forward and look for the program who appreciates you more.

Unfortunately my son fell in love as a HS junior and she broke his heart when a senior. He declared he didn't want to go to school. Took a while for Kevin O'Sullivan to convince him there were plenty of other girls where he was going.

Same girl came back into his life when he was a professional, they got engaged. Finally he realized she wasn't worth his time. They really can break you even when you move up the ladder. 

Be prepared!!!

 

cabbagedad posted:

"... we always said, "Girls are dream crushers!"

"The Three G's.....Girls, Grass & Gas.  Has derailed many a promising career."

 

You guys do realize that it is a girl who initiated the thread, right?  Maybe they aren't all bad 

Unless her husband is on an MLB roster . . . . 

ClevelandDad posted:

 

3) Baseball recruiting is not like football recruiting.  In baseball, you have to put yourself in front of a decision-maker in order to get an offer from them.  Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  If you want to play in the south, for example, you have to find a way to expose yourself to southern coaches.  In general, and obviously there are many exceptions, the best players play in the south.   

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

2019Dad posted:
RJM posted:

If a kid only gets one D1 offer chances are that coach made a mistake.

 

Or the kid took his first offer.

I was referring to the process. If a kid takes the first offer it's typically the stud committing to his dream school. If a kid gets to the end of the process with one D1 offer and a bunch of D2/D3 offers there's a message. 

TPM posted:
ClevelandDad posted:

 Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

As he said, coaches do not fly up to northern high schools to watch games in the SPRING.   Except maybe the scout from the one SEC school?

I've certainly never seen a southern school coach at any high school game in Wisconsin, nor have I ever heard of one attending a WI HS game, and I've been attending games for decades.

The Wisconsin kids get seen in the summer, fall and winter at showcases, tournaments and camps.

3and2Fastball posted:
TPM posted:
ClevelandDad posted:

 Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

As he said, coaches do not fly up to northern high schools to watch games in the SPRING.   Except maybe the scout from the one SEC school?

I've certainly never seen a southern school coach at any high school game in Wisconsin, nor have I ever heard of one attending a WI HS game, and I've been attending games for decades.

The Wisconsin kids get seen in the summer, fall and winter at showcases, tournaments and camps.

Ok got it. However, coaches that go north during season will go watch a HS game if they want to see a player. It happens.  

Don't football coaches attend combines?  

The point about the SEC program is that this is a new thing taking place these days. The schools scouts job is to follow every lead.

Don't forget about Jason Berken,  played football but got a Clemson scholarship, Sully had a scout go check him out after PG recommended him.  

There are coaches looking everywhere for players.

ClevelandDad posted:

Fabulous responses in this thread.

1) I'd rather my son play on a winning D3 team than a loser D1 team.

2) Sometimes, you have to make a decision based on your own instincts which may go against the so-called "expert's" evaluation.  I had people tell me that my son would be lucky to get on the field at the D3 level let alone ever play above that level.  We went and watched the different levels of baseball and we could see with our own eyes that my son had skills to compete at higher levels.  The main thing about the upper levels of baseball is some programs will not accept you if your measurables such as 60 time and arm strength are not above some minimum threshold.  You may be a great hitting shortstop, for example, but if your measurables are below the given threshold, you will be disqualified for some programs.  Find out what these measurables are for your son's position and encourage him to exceed them at all possible.

3) Baseball recruiting is not like football recruiting.  In baseball, you have to put yourself in front of a decision-maker in order to get an offer from them.  Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  If you want to play in the south, for example, you have to find a way to expose yourself to southern coaches.  In general, and obviously there are many exceptions, the best players play in the south.   

Great points by all! This is really a great topic but just an FYI, all football offers aren't committable. 

For example, a LB coach can make my son an offer w/o the head coach seeing him play...but he can't commit without the head coach seeing him and signing off on the offer. 

3and2Fastball posted:
TPM posted:
ClevelandDad posted:

 Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

As he said, coaches do not fly up to northern high schools to watch games in the SPRING.   Except maybe the scout from the one SEC school?

I've certainly never seen a southern school coach at any high school game in Wisconsin, nor have I ever heard of one attending a WI HS game, and I've been attending games for decades.

The Wisconsin kids get seen in the summer, fall and winter at showcases, tournaments and camps.

We live in Idaho, and Ryan had MANY D-1 Power 5 Coaches fly in to see him play in the Spring.  You just can't paint everything with the same brush.  

Idaho is a little more off the beaten path than Wisconsin.  If the coach finds out about a kid, and they want to take a look at him, he will travel.

rynoattack posted:
3and2Fastball posted:
TPM posted:
ClevelandDad posted:

 Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

As he said, coaches do not fly up to northern high schools to watch games in the SPRING.   Except maybe the scout from the one SEC school?

I've certainly never seen a southern school coach at any high school game in Wisconsin, nor have I ever heard of one attending a WI HS game, and I've been attending games for decades.

The Wisconsin kids get seen in the summer, fall and winter at showcases, tournaments and camps.

We live in Idaho, and Ryan had MANY D-1 Power 5 Coaches fly in to see him play in the Spring.  You just can't paint everything with the same brush.  

Idaho is a little more off the beaten path than Wisconsin.  If the coach finds out about a kid, and they want to take a look at him, he will travel.

You are absolutely right. Coaches cast their wide net too.

Thats why I made my point about big programs hiring scouts.  They want to get as many as they can legally out there looking, especially in spring, before the summer events.

rynoattack posted:
3and2Fastball posted:
TPM posted:
ClevelandDad posted:

 Coaches do not fly up from southern locations to watch northern high school baseball in the spring.  

Recently FAU coaches went to Indianapolis to watch an event. The HC went to the Northwoods league to watch a juco player from the midwest this summer. 

One SEC team has an on staff paid scout who goes everywhere to watch players.

There is a lot of searching going on everywhere these days.

As he said, coaches do not fly up to northern high schools to watch games in the SPRING.   Except maybe the scout from the one SEC school?

I've certainly never seen a southern school coach at any high school game in Wisconsin, nor have I ever heard of one attending a WI HS game, and I've been attending games for decades.

The Wisconsin kids get seen in the summer, fall and winter at showcases, tournaments and camps.

We live in Idaho, and Ryan had MANY D-1 Power 5 Coaches fly in to see him play in the Spring.  You just can't paint everything with the same brush.  

Idaho is a little more off the beaten path than Wisconsin.  If the coach finds out about a kid, and they want to take a look at him, he will travel.

Your response has the big IF... "If the coach finds out about a kid"  They don't travel to northern locals to scout unless they have already identified a prospect and everybody knows that.  I assume your advice to Midwest Mom is not to expect the power five schools to start showing up at her son's high school games for him to be discovered? 

In big time high school football, it is not unusual for coaches to scout for players when there is a big game between well-known high school football powers.  The same schools often meet for baseball in the spring and there is nobody there scouting  for talent UNLESS as you point out, a prospect has already been identified.  For baseball, until you get exposure to the types of schools you are interested in, they will not come looking for you.     

Ryno and TPM -  I stand corrected!  Thanks

I do know that in Wisconsin travel team directors will scout high school games and contact college coaches. By the way Jason Berken has started his own travel program in Green Bay.  He's a great person, I've gotten to know him a little.

3and2Fastball posted:

Ryno and TPM -  I stand corrected!  Thanks

I do know that in Wisconsin travel team directors will scout high school games and contact college coaches. By the way Jason Berken has started his own travel program in Green Bay.  He's a great person, I've gotten to know him a little.

Funny thing about Berky. He was relatively unknown. Was a stud at Clemson, until TJS. Got drafted 6th round after struggling and ended up having a great ML career.

Tell him Kopper and family say hello.  

RJM posted:
2019Dad posted:
RJM posted:

If a kid only gets one D1 offer chances are that coach made a mistake.

 

Or the kid took his first offer.

I was referring to the process. If a kid takes the first offer it's typically the stud committing to his dream school. If a kid gets to the end of the process with one D1 offer and a bunch of D2/D3 offers there's a message. 

I know. I should have put a  at the end.

Interesting thread. Enjoying the responses.

1) There will be many highs and lows in the process. Also player's timetable may not always align with the school's that interest him.

2) Versatility can be a good thing. Son recruited and offered for both MI and CF which gave him options. Always packed both gloves in bag.

3) Go where you are loved and will be given an opportunity. Finally son couldn't believe how "fast things ended" once the process ended (with commitment). It seemed surreal to him, not needed to attend more camps, etc. 

Great answers! I have a question to the parents. How many times did RC's tell your sons "you are my number 1 in class of 20XX". So far my son has heard that three times from 3 different schools. So far, one school has completely stopped texting/calling after some great conversations and promises to see him play. Others are still very interested and continue their weekly chats.

Today he says to me, "Dad, my favorite coach is the one that talks to me about everything BUT baseball. I think I would like to play for him. He always asked about you and mom and knows <insert sisters name> by name."  Fun watching him mature through this.

1) There is no single path that is best for your son.  You have to be flexible and revise your "plan" when Stanford doesn't call.  The dream can be a moving target from day to day, and its a crap shoot for most.  I still have a list of 30 schools my son was interested in, not a single one of those schools was interested

2) If D1 is the dream, its not over if there are no offers out of HS, there is a second chance: junior college,   You are cheating your son out of an D1 opportunity if you believe he's too good for a JC to even consider it,  whether its his talent or academics.  What a student gets out of a D1/2/3/JC is equal to what he  puts into it.  My son played with plenty of D1 players that were lazy, drunk, smoked pot and took easy classes......and went nowhere.

3) The process never ends.  I have observed unless a kid throws 95, the kids who advance are generally the kids who work hard at it everyday, not the kids who think they can just show up and be the best, those kids are far and few between.

btw my son chose to play for a last place D1 school  rather then a  team that went to the CWS all the time. He picked the best playing opportunity with a coach he really liked.   

"Players do not get physically better or mentally better by hearing parental criticism of umpires, coaches, coaches decisions or teammates, etc. By the end of HS and into college, I think our role as their parent evolves. Off the baseball field, we need to be a parent and guide accordingly. When they are on the diamond, we are a fan having the wonderful opportunity to watch our son’s compete, succeed, and sometimes fail. Failing is many times good for them and their “failure” experience in HS, college or above is not cured or solved by an “ice cream.” Part of our role as a parent and “fan” is to appreciate a separation they often need from baseball and to honor that separation, unless they bring it to us for discussion. Whatever success they have, they "earn." Whatever failures they have, they learn from them and adjust. We are with them as their parent under either scenario but our relationship with or to them does not alter no matter what success, or not, happens on a baseball field."

Infieldad.....one of my favorite things I've read on this site! Going through the process with my 2019 now, and learning every day as things change that my job as a parent is certainly evolving and that my parental role around the diamond is more about watching and being supportive and allowing him to take ownership of this journey!

2019cubdad posted:

Great answers! I have a question to the parents. How many times did RC's tell your sons "you are my number 1 in class of 20XX". So far my son has heard that three times from 3 different schools. So far, one school has completely stopped texting/calling after some great conversations and promises to see him play. Others are still very interested and continue their weekly chats.

Today he says to me, "Dad, my favorite coach is the one that talks to me about everything BUT baseball. I think I would like to play for him. He always asked about you and mom and knows <insert sisters name> by name."  Fun watching him mature through this.

Commonly heard:  "you're at the top of my list" (along with how many others??).....  With certain colleges, the coaches need to hear the player say: "you're at top of my list" or "you're my number one school", before the HC or RC proceeds with an offer.  I especially found this applicable to the top academics...... The HC and RC are trying to ferret out is the player down to 1-2 schools, or is he still shopping his whole targeted college list.  If the player is still shopping a big list of schools, some of the higher academics will back off because they know the player still has a lot of "homework" to do (i.e., hasn't visited a lot of schools, and the player waking up to the fact all the spots at ND and Harvard are gone).

Great to have a favorite coach like your son is talking about, but buyer beware... how long has the coach been at the school, how do you like the AC's, AND, how does your son like the college if baseball is GONE? 

BOF posted:

Cabbage, I imagine you will do this but please make this thread Golden. Some great insight here. 

I'm not a mod, no ties to the site other than a plain old visitor and don't have any influence in those decisions, but I agree.

1. Don't neglect grades and get some tutoring for the SAT/ACT.  Have seen bad grades and test scores close doors even for those very talented.

2. Remember this is your son's life. Your goal for him might be D1 and the draft but his goal might be engineer or dentist. Accept he might be a better fit with a D3 program even if he has the D1 talent.

3. Be prepared for many twists and turns throughout the process and be flexible. Chances are it is not going to end up the way you planned!

One thing I'd add - very early in the process I had him set up a separate email address that we both had access to.  It was the address he used for all things college and recruiting related.  I didn't want to access his regular email address with all the facebook updates, etc.  But having a separate email for all things college and baseball meant we both had it in our phones and we could both follow contacts and responses.  I would NEVER respond for him, but it was good to be able to track who was in touch, how often, and the speed and quality of his responses back to them.

BOF posted:

Cabbage, I imagine you will do this but please make this thread Golden. Some great insight here. 

Glad I'm not the only one that messed that up.  Cleveland Dad or Swampboy is who you want....but I once messaged cabbagedad thinking he was a moderator as well.  Must be because he's usually so calm and thoughtful :-)

9and7dad posted:

One thing I'd add - very early in the process I had him set up a separate email address that we both had access to.  It was the address he used for all things college and recruiting related.  I didn't want to access his regular email address with all the facebook updates, etc.  But having a separate email for all things college and baseball meant we both had it in our phones and we could both follow contacts and responses.  I would NEVER respond for him, but it was good to be able to track who was in touch, how often, and the speed and quality of his responses back to them.

Bingo!! Did the same.... name2018@gmail.com....add to your gmail account so you can monitor...kids are not accustomed to checking emails...this way the parent can alert the player and hopefully respond quickly.  He initiated with alerts, became accustomed to them, then we agreed which emails needed to be responded to, and when.  

This was also helpful when son would create an email, the parents would edit keeping his messaging, then son would send sample email to me.  I'd pull it up on my Iphone to see how the email was coming across.  I'd show son, and he'd rethink what he was sending and his formatting.....

Gov posted:
9and7dad posted:

One thing I'd add - very early in the process I had him set up a separate email address that we both had access to.  It was the address he used for all things college and recruiting related.  I didn't want to access his regular email address with all the facebook updates, etc.  But having a separate email for all things college and baseball meant we both had it in our phones and we could both follow contacts and responses.  I would NEVER respond for him, but it was good to be able to track who was in touch, how often, and the speed and quality of his responses back to them.

Bingo!! Did the same.... name2018@gmail.com....add to your gmail account so you can monitor...kids are not accustomed to checking emails...this way the parent can alert the player and hopefully respond quickly.  He initiated with alerts, became accustomed to them, then we agreed which emails needed to be responded to, and when.  

This was also helpful when son would create an email, the parents would edit keeping his messaging, then son would send sample email to me.  I'd pull it up on my Iphone to see how the email was coming across.  I'd show son, and he'd rethink what he was sending and his formatting.....

My 2022 just did that and I linked it to my gmail. His first gmail account was typical preteen wanna-be street lingo and I told you can use that for your silly gaming apps and maintaining "street cred" with the your techno tuff guy nerdy friends.  

I never responded to this mostly because it feels like there are so many takeaways, but I'll give it a shot...

1. Don't be afraid to ask coaches questions that are on your mind.  Listen carefully to the answer.

2. Don't base your decisions entirely on who the coach is - especially a position coach, he will likely not be there long.

3. Know your player, his level, where he fits and what is most likely to work in his favor in terms of exposure - ask someone reputable that you're not paying for lessons if you don't know yourself (e.g. HS coach, area scout, even a local college coach)

Gov posted:
9and7dad posted:

One thing I'd add - very early in the process I had him set up a separate email address that we both had access to.  It was the address he used for all things college and recruiting related.  I didn't want to access his regular email address with all the facebook updates, etc.  But having a separate email for all things college and baseball meant we both had it in our phones and we could both follow contacts and responses.  I would NEVER respond for him, but it was good to be able to track who was in touch, how often, and the speed and quality of his responses back to them.

Bingo!! Did the same.... name2018@gmail.com....add to your gmail account so you can monitor...kids are not accustomed to checking emails...this way the parent can alert the player and hopefully respond quickly.  He initiated with alerts, became accustomed to them, then we agreed which emails needed to be responded to, and when.  

This was also helpful when son would create an email, the parents would edit keeping his messaging, then son would send sample email to me.  I'd pull it up on my Iphone to see how the email was coming across.  I'd show son, and he'd rethink what he was sending and his formatting.....

Same here....I typically kept it open at work since he didn't always have access if he was in school.  We would both read the before he responded to an email or sent out one on his own.  If it was from a coach, I would ask him for his response before he sent it and give him a little guidance if it was way off base, but in most cases it was fine the way he wrote it.  We had kind of a generic "introduction email".  We made it sound very personal, but all he had to do was change the coach's name, school name, city name, mascot & league name and then send it to whoever he wanted.  He actually learned a lot about the schools and the programs because I made him go to the website...find the RC and the other info before he could send the email.  Gave him some insight to some teams.  He deleted some from his list based on what he saw on their websites

I have not taken the time to read the whole thread, so I apologize ifbthisbis a repeat. 

1. Cast a wide net across division. (Unless you are an absolute stud.)

2. The process will help decide where you belong. I you are only being recruited by D3 you probably are not going to D1, unless you are a late bloomer. Going to another showcase will probably not change coaches opinion unless you have something new to show. This is not a bad thing. My son playednat D3. But no matter how much he wanted to play at a particular D1 they were not interested and nothing was going to change their mind, unless something improved.

3 Go where you are loved. You will know it when you are loved, andnif you are not sure, Then they do not love you. 

Sorry if I come off blunt.

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