Was this handled the right way?

Chicago643 posted:
CaCO3Girl posted:
Chicago643 posted:
  • Like the old HC better than the new HC.
  • My kid won't get to play as much.
  • Maybe the kid who is in trouble is really good, and I want my kid to be in his place. If he's kicked off the team, my kid slides into that spot.
  • Some parents just aren't ever happy with any coach, and any coach's decisions.

 

Counterpoint:

- I don't have relationships with the coaches, so whether I like them is immaterial

- My kid will be a starter on the team regardless

- "F-You" kid is a pitcher, mine is not

- I don't have a relationship with the coaches, but I do have opinions on how to run an organization, none of which will ever be shared with one of my son's coaches...ever. I won't even share them with families who also have sons on the team, that just isn't helpful. But an anonymous group of people who have no idea what program I am associated with (except for Joes87 who seems to want to ferret that info out) - fair game for feedback. FWIW, I may have posed this same question if the kid was removed from the team too...it is a good topic for discussion.

Do all pitchers hit on your sons team?

Only a couple with good sticks

Do you know if this kid hit last year?  If so, do you know if they changed their mind for this year?

I keep coming back to him purposefully ignoring the bunt sign, like he had something to prove.

I just can't get past the kid saying F you to the coach (in the circumstance described in the OP).  Whatever issues the kid may have, including senioritis, can be dealt with separately, but the kid doesn't need to be a part of the program to help him.

CaCO3Girl posted:
Chicago643 posted:
CaCO3Girl posted:
Chicago643 posted:
  • Like the old HC better than the new HC.
  • My kid won't get to play as much.
  • Maybe the kid who is in trouble is really good, and I want my kid to be in his place. If he's kicked off the team, my kid slides into that spot.
  • Some parents just aren't ever happy with any coach, and any coach's decisions.

 

Counterpoint:

- I don't have relationships with the coaches, so whether I like them is immaterial

- My kid will be a starter on the team regardless

- "F-You" kid is a pitcher, mine is not

- I don't have a relationship with the coaches, but I do have opinions on how to run an organization, none of which will ever be shared with one of my son's coaches...ever. I won't even share them with families who also have sons on the team, that just isn't helpful. But an anonymous group of people who have no idea what program I am associated with (except for Joes87 who seems to want to ferret that info out) - fair game for feedback. FWIW, I may have posed this same question if the kid was removed from the team too...it is a good topic for discussion.

Do all pitchers hit on your sons team?

Only a couple with good sticks

Do you know if this kid hit last year?  If so, do you know if they changed their mind for this year?

I keep coming back to him purposefully ignoring the bunt sign, like he had something to prove.

was not a hitter last year

Chicago643 posted:

I don't know the legality of it, Joes87, I just know this is what they are doing. It's a club team, using the HS facility, run by HS coaches. If it's illegal, every school in our area is doing it illegally.

As long as it isn't run by the varsity head coach it's "legal."   Most teams are doing these days. 

joes87 posted:
hshuler posted:
joes87 posted:
cabbagedad posted:

 

About a month ago, he called in that he would miss a practice and called late the next.  Very uncharacteristically and against our team policy, he was vague about his reason.  I pulled him out for a "discussion".  I contemplated going full ream or opening it up for him to explain why his commitment level wasn't where his teammates needed it to be.   Thank God I chose the latter.  He went on to explain that an immediate family member was dealing with a serious illness.  I got a call later from one of his parents asking that I keep things confidential to make it easier for the family to get through a very tough time.  So, it has become a very difficult line to walk.  My actions with the player, I'm sure, didn't look strong enough to the team and even to the other coaches.  But I can't explain the rationale behind those actions due to the requested confidentiality of the family.  It's what's below the surface, in this case.  

 

This ...

What a lot of folks not in education don't understand is the external factors that come into play when discipling a player.  Many factors can influence things.  Everything from does the kid have access to food at home to is the kid dealing with a terminal illness to a parent that others don't know about.  These factors can not be discussed with others and at times it may appear that an administrator/coach/teacher, etc.  are taking it easy on the kid.  Lets not forget that these coaches are educators first.  The first question to be answered when discipling a kid, is "whats right for the kid".

 

Okay, I get that some kids have it hard. Very hard! But aren’t all teenagers going through something? And yes, serious illness is not the same as “OMG, I’ve a huge pimple!”  But a kid uncharacteristically, calling out and being late to practices is a looooonnnnggggggg way from “F... you!” IMO. Just not in the same stratosphere.

My life wasn’t easy and neither was it for most of my friends growing up in rural SC but I never witnessed or even heard about someone telling the coach “F.... you!” There’s a whole lotta grey area that you can dance around before you get to that phrase.

I get that we don’t know all the facts but why didn’t he bunt - twice? Because he’s having problem at home just doesn’t seem like the reason. Again, I get it - the kid could be hurting - but are we going to now think that “outside influences” are the only reason that kids do stupid things. Also, what about the other kids on the team who maybe going through tougher circumstances and still listen to and respect authority.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit today and can’t think of one scenario where this is acceptable. Sorry! 

Again, this is my opinion and I don’t expect to change anyone’s viewpoint.

 

I get it, and for the most part, and if there is not extenuating circumstances the kid should be booted...

But most folks don't have a clue what some kids are going through.  My wife is an administrator in our local school district.  We live is a wealthy area with schools that are considered some of the top in the country.  In addition our town is consistently named as one of the best places to live/raise a family in the US.  By all accounts its a community where you do not expect many family issues.  The reality is there are things happening to kids every day that schools need to deal with.  Consider this scenario.  Its factual based and applied to this baseball situation, but is not related in anyway to the OPs post.  This type problem is more common then most folks think.

Kid lives in a home with no father and a mother that is a drug addict.  Rotating male role models through the house.  No one sticks around long and none of them are upstanding citizens.  In fact many are a one time thing and sometimes there is more then one of them in the house in a day.  Mother uses them for money and drugs.  Men use the mom for the sex.  She is not a prostitute in the normal sense, but is a junkie.  Many of them abuse her and at times her son.  No food in the house as all the money goes toward drugs.  The only real meals the kid gets is breakfast and lunch at school.

Kid is a smart kid and realizes that the way out of his life is through education, he also enjoys playing baseball.  Wakes up the morning of the incident and finds out that the only constant in his life, his grandmother, has been diagnosed with cancer and has 6 weeks to live.  He heads off to school with our really processing the information.  Shows up at baseball practice that afternoon.  Feels like the coach has put some pressure on him and acts out.  While its directed at the coach it really has nothing to do with the  coach, but rather a misplaced reaction to his current situation.

In many cases the administration and HC know what is going on.  The AC may not and certainly the team would not have a clue.  In fact by law the school can not disclose any of this information to anyone.  As a coach what are you going to do?  You have two options.  Kick the kid off the team and possibility put him back into the poverty/drug cycle.  Or you can give the kid a break and keep him on the team mentoring him and hopefully keep the kid pointed in the right direction.

Again, this is not always the situation but I used it to illustrate the decision coaches have to make at times.  Things are not always black and white, and unless you are one of the directly involved parties you never have all the information.

 

Sometime people need to learn the hard way.  Back in the day we had a SS teacher/football coach. Good guy but a real hard ass.  Had a whole shpeal about a term paper and handing it in on time, no excuses, etc.  Until the day one of his students showed up the day after her mom died to turn in a stupid paper.  He made sure to point out that would be an exception.   

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