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What if I sent my boy to any one of the gazillion "Top Prospect" camps and had him go to the coach and say, "Hey coach. I'm sure you already know who I am.  Anyway, you will be thrilled to find out that one of your top prospects is ready to commit.  Yep. I've already stated that 'I'm blessed to be a Bulldog' in my social media.  I should probably get your cell number."

I am that wretch.

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Off the charts for shock value, but I doubt very strongly they will get the desired outcome.  Let us know how that works out.

My oldest son had a teammate that showed up 30 minutes late to their first Fall practice.  When the coach asked him why he was late in front of the team the young man responded that "everybody should already know who he is because he was drafted out of high school".   He was going to be their #1 weekend starting pitcher and it didn't matter if he showed up late or early to practice....nothing was going to change that."  

He became real popular with the team as he watched everybody do stadium stairs running and throwing up that day because he was late for practice.  For the most part, that was the highlight of his college career.  He never became a weekend starter.  He was not drafted again.  

Teaching Elder posted:

What if I sent my boy to any one of the gazillion "Top Prospect" camps and had him go to the coach and say, "Hey coach. I'm sure you already know who I am.  Anyway, you will be thrilled to find out that one of your top prospects is ready to commit.  Yep. I've already stated that 'I'm blessed to be a Bulldog' in my social media.  I should probably get your cell number."

Sadly I know several kids that will likely grow up to BE that kid. 

14u game this weekend kid was pulled out of the line up for no known reason and replaced with another player.  I kind of shrugged and put it out of my mind.  Kid came up to the fence in between innings and said to his dad  "I can't believe they took me out, XXXX didn't even get in any BP before the game!" Kid leaves and dad says "I don't know why they would do that, he has the second best on base percentage on the team".  I said "Didn't XXXX hit 3 doubles last weekend?" Dad said yes, but why would they take out my kid?

And I'm out of the conversation.

I remember an AAU team my youngest son played on one year. It was a very good team with kids from all over NC playing in tourneys together. There was one particular kid who was very talented. He also had a terrible attitude. His mother was a fantastic lady and we had played a couple of weekends before I met the Dad. After that encounter I knew exactly where the kid's attitude came from. After one game the coaches called all the players and parents together and addressed the attitude issue with everyone. It kind of went like "No one is too good to sit. If a kid throws a helmet or bat or shows a bad attitude they can expect to sit. We expect the parents to back us up on this." There was more but that's pretty much what was said. After the meeting the Dad goes on to tell all the parents in ear shot of the coaches "I really don't give a D what any of you or them think about my kid. I only care what FSU UNC and LSU think!"

Well the family moved to Florida after that season I was told because the Dad said that is where his son will get the best opportunity to continue his career with better coaching, facilities and all year play. I had not seen or heard from them for a few years until my son's freshman year in college. We were scrimmaging at the US Olympic Complex in Cary due to renovations at Boshamer and the mom just happens to be there. She says hello and begins to tell me that her son is there. She tells me he would like me to talk to him. So the kid walks up and he is the exact same size he was at 14 only he has facial hair. He begins to tell me how his coaches in HS screwed him and he was black balled for not putting up with their __________ . The last I heard he had tried out for a JUCO out west but I never saw his name on a roster. The Dad by the way split the scene and has not been heard of by either one the last I heard as well.

There are a lot of stories like this. Some even more pathetic to be honest with you. Like the kid that ordered a Big Mac with no cheese and when Dad showed up with the wrong order threw it at Dad and said "For God's sake get it right once!" Dad just smiled and went and got it right. The kid was a stud. He ended up getting kicked off his HS team and then later sent to Central Prison for aggravated assault. I don't know sometimes these things sound funny until you really see the end result of some of them. Sad really.

 

I'm new to the area in which I am serving now.  So, I saw folks playing a summer game at the local high school field and decided to stop by.  Turns out it was middle schoolers, maybe guys moving from 8th - 9th grade.  Hard to tell at that age.  Anyway, first batter comes up.  Dad gets up from chair along the baseline to give instructions to the kid.  Then he moves over to the other baseline to video the at bat.  Kid strikes out on a pretty good curve ball.  Guy shakes his head, mutters and walks off.  I was this close to saying, "Hey, man.  It happens.  He looks like a pretty good hitter.  He'll learn how to fight-off curveballs over time."  But, I'm new, so I held my tongue.

We put a lot of hope, much of it undue, upon our boy's abilities on the diamond.  I think this is a newer phenomenon too.  Many of us can remember playing ball at a time when our parents may not have even come to our games.

It is easy to lose sight of reality when judging our kid's potential.  Some people though are delusional.

Great point Teaching Elder.  I watched all three of my kids play ball and they were significantly better than I ever was or dreamed of being....I'll be the first to admit that.  Baseball was a love of mine but it never loved me back.   At the time, it never bothered me that my parents rarely came to my baseball games (not because I sucked) because that isn't what most parents did in the 70s.    On the other hand, I rarely missed any of my kids high school, travel or college games.  It is a vastly different parenting style today. 

Coach_May posted:

I remember an AAU team my youngest son played on one year. It was a very good team with kids from all over NC playing in tourneys together. There was one particular kid who was very talented. He also had a terrible attitude. His mother was a fantastic lady and we had played a couple of weekends before I met the Dad. After that encounter I knew exactly where the kid's attitude came from. After one game the coaches called all the players and parents together and addressed the attitude issue with everyone. It kind of went like "No one is too good to sit. If a kid throws a helmet or bat or shows a bad attitude they can expect to sit. We expect the parents to back us up on this." There was more but that's pretty much what was said. After the meeting the Dad goes on to tell all the parents in ear shot of the coaches "I really don't give a D what any of you or them think about my kid. I only care what FSU UNC and LSU think!"

Well the family moved to Florida after that season I was told because the Dad said that is where his son will get the best opportunity to continue his career with better coaching, facilities and all year play. I had not seen or heard from them for a few years until my son's freshman year in college. We were scrimmaging at the US Olympic Complex in Cary due to renovations at Boshamer and the mom just happens to be there. She says hello and begins to tell me that her son is there. She tells me he would like me to talk to him. So the kid walks up and he is the exact same size he was at 14 only he has facial hair. He begins to tell me how his coaches in HS screwed him and he was black balled for not putting up with their __________ . The last I heard he had tried out for a JUCO out west but I never saw his name on a roster. The Dad by the way split the scene and has not been heard of by either one the last I heard as well.

There are a lot of stories like this. Some even more pathetic to be honest with you. Like the kid that ordered a Big Mac with no cheese and when Dad showed up with the wrong order threw it at Dad and said "For God's sake get it right once!" Dad just smiled and went and got it right. The kid was a stud. He ended up getting kicked off his HS team and then later sent to Central Prison for aggravated assault. I don't know sometimes these things sound funny until you really see the end result of some of them. Sad really.

 

We have probably had six or eight "star" players/parents come through our program over the years that felt they were not getting the attention/recognition/innings/position/starts/coaching the player needed or deserved, so they moved or transferred.  Some were very talented players.  Not one ever found things to be better at another school.  Every one of them fell off the baseball radar prematurely.  Parenting matters. 

Last edited by cabbagedad

The original post is an excessively cocky attitude. Cocky can be handled if the player performs. I've seen excessively cocky players still be liked by their teammates. They blow it off as amusement. Bad attitude wears on a team. Teammates start hoping the player fails and disappears.

fenwaysouth posted:

Great point Teaching Elder.  I watched all three of my kids play ball and they were significantly better than I ever was or dreamed of being....I'll be the first to admit that.  Baseball was a love of mine but it never loved me back.   At the time, it never bothered me that my parents rarely came to my baseball games (not because I sucked) because that isn't what most parents did in the 70s.    On the other hand, I rarely missed any of my kids high school, travel or college games.  It is a vastly different parenting style today. 

...or fenway, you could just say that you under-achieved since its clear the genes were there.  

I sometimes wonder why my kids are so much better than I was - its either my under-achievement or the mamma's got the genes.  Neither one is in my favor.  

(BTW, your earlier story reminded me - our older son overslept for his first conditioning practice in college.  Not knowing what to do, the upperclassmen directed him towards the least hard-a$$ coach who said it was just between the two of them - and who assigned some extra conditioning 1-on-1 with him...just to make the point.  This didn't really stick as the longtime pitching coach (retired) saw me a week or so later and said, "I heard your boy overslept for day-1").  

Last edited by justbaseball
justbaseball posted:

...or fenway, you could just say that you under-achieved since its clear the genes were there.  

I sometimes wonder why my kids are so much better than I was - its either my under-achievement or the mamma's got the genes.  Neither one is in my favor.  

...........................................

No doubt JBB.   Mommas got the genes.  Those that lack genes in my house...teach or coach.  What is interesting now is my wife and kids are playing tennis....the sport I've played my whole life including 4 years in college, and still play competitively today.    My kids are getting really good (really fast) at tennis too.  So, I'm going to say it is my wife's gene talent pool and a little bit of my coaching or instruction.  Yes, it is a minimal contribution but I got to bring something to the party.  

"We put a lot of hope, much of it undue, upon our boy's abilities on the diamond."

This statement hit me straight between the eyes. If I'm being honest with myself, this "Hope" has put a lot of stress on my relationship with my oldest. It is a filter for which everything is viewed thru, it magnifies every mistake, every at bat thrown away, the lack of hustle...nothing is ever good enough, always something to improve on.  It causes me to be frustrated often, unhappy with outcomes that are less than perfect. I become overly critical, not just of him but of his coaches and teammates (not out loud, but to myself..I haven't reached A-hole status yet). I've told myself that it's all for his best interest, to push him to achieve his best. It's not healthy and somehow I've got to make some changes. Maybe there's a POAA (Parents of Athletes Anonymous) support group I can join. Truthfully I'm not a bad guy, and I love my son very much. He's very talented and I don't want him to miss out on things that should be within his grasp.

Texas 2 Sons posted:

"We put a lot of hope, much of it undue, upon our boy's abilities on the diamond."

This statement hit me straight between the eyes. If I'm being honest with myself, this "Hope" has put a lot of stress on my relationship with my oldest. It is a filter for which everything is viewed thru, it magnifies every mistake, every at bat thrown away, the lack of hustle...nothing is ever good enough, always something to improve on.  It causes me to be frustrated often, unhappy with outcomes that are less than perfect. I become overly critical, not just of him but of his coaches and teammates (not out loud, but to myself..I haven't reached A-hole status yet). I've told myself that it's all for his best interest, to push him to achieve his best. It's not healthy and somehow I've got to make some changes. Maybe there's a POAA (Parents of Athletes Anonymous) support group I can join. Truthfully I'm not a bad guy, and I love my son very much. He's very talented and I don't want him to miss out on things that should be within his grasp.

Texas 2,

Very thoughtful insight into your relationship with your son as a baseball player.  Would it make a difference in your perspectives to change the thought process so he is your son, who plays baseball?  One major adjustment which occurred with me was when our son was age 13-14.  He was physically very small at that point, much smaller than most of his peer group on a baseball and football field.  I remember very vividly that from ages 14-16, he became a much better player than I ever was, and had plenty of upside from that point, especially in his ability to hit a baseball.

Perhaps one important thing to recognize in your perspectives of having a son who is very talented and the fact you "don't want him to miss out on things:" If he is very talented he will have options to play beyond HS. Once he gets to that point, it will be his motivation and his efforts and his desire and his skills and talents which will decide success, or not.  As a parent, we won't be in a position to ensure our son does not "miss out on things that should be within his grasp."

After HS, our sons need to be able to figure these things out for themselves and to work to obtain success and to even over-achieve for things within their grasp.  Just my perspective, but I think you, and especially your son, might be far better off letting him learn these lessons, especially failing and how to manage and adjust through failure now.  When they get beyond HS, too many fail because they never failed before and have no idea how to manage failure on a baseball field.

If our son is very talented, he needs to figure out how to achieve those things within his grasp. If he does not, and you are trying to do it for him, my view is you are not doing him any favors.

Good luck to you and your son!

Last edited by infielddad

Also you need to understand that no matter how others act, no matter what they say, no matter how they react publicly - Inside they are feeling the same things you are. I became a much better coach once I had kids of my own. Once my kids began playing the game. I began to feel internally what my parents had been feeling and were feeling. We love our kids. We want them to succeed at what they love. We see things we don't believe they can see. We feel things we don't believe they can feel. We think we know the answer and don't want them to miss it or not see it. The reality of it is we are the one's that screw it up if it's going to get screwed up. We just need to make it fun, support them to the best of our ability, teach them it's going to take effort and hard work and then get out of the way.

You are not alone. In fact you are just one of many. You just need to learn how to properly channel what everyone else is feeling as well. To me its all about perspective. It's all about him being a great person who just happens to love baseball. Instead of a great player who just happens to be your son. To be honest with you I didn't get a proper handle of this thing until my youngest was in college. And I can tell you I enjoyed that last couple of years more than I did the first many years by far. Your son will only be a player for a short time in his life. He will be your son forever. Good luck and welcome to the site.

fenwaysouth posted:

Off the charts for shock value, but I doubt very strongly they will get the desired outcome.  Let us know how that works out.

My oldest son had a teammate that showed up 30 minutes late to their first Fall practice.  When the coach asked him why he was late in front of the team the young man responded that "everybody should already know who he is because he was drafted out of high school".   He was going to be their #1 weekend starting pitcher and it didn't matter if he showed up late or early to practice....nothing was going to change that."  

He became real popular with the team as he watched everybody do stadium stairs running and throwing up that day because he was late for practice.  For the most part, that was the highlight of his college career.  He never became a weekend starter.  He was not drafted again.  

That's how they do it at Southern. Only happened once, that was enough. You don't wanna be the guy sitting on the bench watching your teammates run.

 

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