...in ways they may never know.
I was inspired to write by D8 who has provided a powerful message in the current thread titled “Play hard. Have fun. I love you.” I usually post here in an effort to help others but I think this one may be as much for myself as anyone else, so thanks for listening and thank you, D8.
This is going to bounce around a bit so bear with me...
Yesterday I was catching up on HSBBW threads and saw that D8 had shared that he recently lost his young son. Of course, his story struck hard. In fact, I was “catching up” here because I had just returned the day before from a trip back east for my own mother's funeral. She was an amazing woman. 6 kids, 16 grandchildren, 11 great-grandchildren. Always the life of the party and hands-down favorite relative of all, young and old. It was so painful to see her leave us, so painful to see my own three kids hurting so much over her passing. But mom was 88. She had a full life that burst at every seam. I can only begin to imagine the exponential pain of losing a young healthy son.
Mom was very sharp up until the very end (and probably still is). Among other things, she kept up on every sport that every one of her grandkids and great-grandkids played. She knew stats and records of our college-playing kids and team names and schedules of the 4 and 5 year old T-ball, hockey, soccer and basketball playing offspring across the country. Sports were the primary topic of conversation with calls, email, cards and visits. She was a huge Cleveland Indians fan. When cabbage played scout ball, it was with an Indians affiliate and she was thrilled with the connection. When he played his first summer college league, it was with a team that wore Indians replica uni's. There was a photo shoot of cabbage in uniform signing an autograph for a young player/fan. They made baseball cards of the shot. Mom treasured it. (Heck, maybe it even left an impression on the young boy with the autograph too.) I am 100% convinced that each relative's connection with mom through sports added quality and longevity to her life, mostly unknowingly to the participants. Undoubtedly, this same thing plays out in thousands of households everywhere.
Here's a quick glimpse of mom probably lamenting another Indians loss...
When we went back east for the funeral, we stayed at my brother's house. He has four kids, one a 15 yo son who has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At one point, he wasn't supposed to make it to his second birthday. They live in Ohio. “Jack” lives for sports. He is in a power wheelchair with little use of any muscles. He is a huge Ohio State and Cleveland fan and can speak very intelligently to any sport subject. He had the good fortune of meeting up with Zeke Elliott, the star running back of the National Champion Buckeye team. Zeke invited him to the Ohio State spring game last week. Several calls were required to coordinate things and Zeke actually took most of the calls personally and had Coach Urban Meyer assure that Jack would be on the field prior to the game. Jack's mom and dad were floored at how approachable and helpful this young man was. Zeke and Coach arranged it so that some of the younger family members in town for mom's funeral were able to join Jack and his dad at the game as well – quite an uplifting break from the other happenings of the weekend. Underneath the “star running back” jersey, Zeke is just another young college kid. He can't possibly know what an impact his words and actions had on this young boy, how much he added to the quality of his life, and how much it meant to his family. Zeke Elliott's mom should be very proud.
Last week, I was coaching our HS game and we were down early in an important league game. I'll admit, I felt the urge to peak at my phone between innings for a final update on my son's college game. I saw a text from my wife asking to call ASAP about mom, along with several missed calls from family members. I knew I had to duck behind the dugout and make the call. I didn't let the players or other coaches know what had happened. Holding together and continuing to do my job as to not be a distraction was very rough. The next inning, the boys mounted a big rally and came out with a win. The boys were very high spirited on the bus ride home. It was just a game. The outcome wasn't going to change what had happened for me personally. But, somehow, the win and seeing the boys so happy with the outcome of their efforts made things SO much better than it otherwise would have been. They had no idea how much of an impact they had on helping to ease the pain.
We talk a lot here about making sure we enjoy watching our kids play. At the same time, our kids, all ages, should know that their efforts on and off the field often has impact on others that they cannot begin to imagine.
“A life is not important except for the impact it has on other lives.” - Jackie Robinson
