Go back and read some of my post and you will see what I have been through in the last year. Most of the regulars know that I have a 2013, 2014, 2016 and a 2018 . I have done all that you have mentioned and more.
I have spent enough money to send a kid to school, I have obsessed and got angry, then sad , then mad, then glad again. Honestly, 4 years ago when I came to this site I knew very little about what really happens, matters and doesn't matter about college recruiting.
I have a 2013 that signed at a very good JUCO.... during his recruiting we knew early on that he was a bit of a late bloomer and decided to take the JUCO route. He had other offers from an NAIA that has won two titles, a D2 and a D3. We figured after two years of JUCO , those other 4 years schools were still an option.
I have a 2014 that will likely be a D1 player. He has visited a few schools, had quality contact from 15-18 D1's and is ranked pretty high nationally. I can tell you this, the recruiting at this level is different than the lower levels, but I cannot say it's always better. I will say there's more to think about. In the last week he has gotten 6 calls from D2 schools, I beleive since they can call first.... He has talked to many D1 coaches, and they know what to say and how to say it. It can sound very good.
I have a 2016 that just got back from PG in Atlanta, but has such a high ACT he will end up at an academic school and baseball could be over for him, or maybe he still plays, but school definately comes first for him
I have a 2018 that is better now then the other three were at the same 8th grade age. He has a gifted arm throwing 80 at 13......
The factors that we HAVE to stick to are
1.) do you like the school , if the coach leaves, if you get hurt, you have to stay in school.
2.) can you afford the school with out baseball money?
3.) go where you are going to get more opportunities to play.
We had a mid level D1 HC ask 2014 if he wanted to be on his mound pitching against Vandy, or in Vandy's bullpen watching the game and waiting to get a chance.
We have learned that while some schools and coaches will love your style, others will hate it... So in the end go where you can play, and be happy at that school and forget about the level. I would rather be at a top NAIA program that has a winning tradition than a D1 that loses all the time.
Also, don't take it personally, I have learned that most of the time, there are other factors that go into who they pick. Money, scholerships, team needs, parents, lots of things you cannot control.