It's not my purpose to attack. It's my purpose to help. My point is that what he's doing almost certainly is not helping and could well be hindering his son's prospects. Therefore my advice is that he stop.
He didn't want to hear it. I got that message loud and clear. That doesn't change my message. And to the extent someone expects me to say, "Well, if you feel that strongly, then I guess the rules of the road are going to be different for you," that's just not helpful at all.
Even if he chooses not to listen, perhaps others will. That's the point of a web board.
As to helping with e-mails, I do recommend that parents help their sons compose e-mails, especially early on, so that the player's note to the coach is written in a manner that projects the player as someone who could succeed at that school. Also, quite often teenagers are simply not attuned to the fact that overly familiar correspondence or other means of communicating that are common among their peers can land with a thud when received by a middle aged coach.
That being said, we're talking about a parent helping a son compose quality correspondence to be sent by the player over the player's name. This is a very different thing from mom or dad writing the coach on the player's behalf. That should NEVER happen. Someone can come on here and pretend it won't matter, but they would be dead wrong. It does matter, it is never received positively, and it is often received negatively.
Concur with your points...as originally stated and now. Glad you took the time to share them.