A friend confided his dilemma to me. He's torn. His minority son was called a racial epithet by a teammate. Kid was furious, but held his temper and just walked away said nothing to anyone, including his parents. Another kid, though, witnessed the entire incidence, told someone about it, not sure who. Eventually the story found its way to the kids parents. Parents asked the kid about it and he confirmed the story that had gotten back to them. The parents wanted to report the name caller to the coach, but kid doesn't want that. Parents asked why. Kid said because if the name calling kid gets kicked off the team for it, given the atmosphere on the team, and certain things that happened in the past, and the fact that name-calling kid will talk, guys will take sides, divisions will ensue and the kid who was called the name will be blamed and labelled by a good portion of the team as a trouble maker. It will be an ugly situation all around and will do neither the team nor the kid any good. The name caller is a key starter. The minority kid is a bench player. The name caller was previously in hot water for supposed anti-Semitic remarks and anti-gay remarks. Something happened --unclear what -- cause several players were called in by coach and/or AD about it. But in the end the kid stayed on the team, stayed in the line-up everyday. They suspect that the reason the kid wasn't disciplined for the earlier alleged incidence is because either the non-minority players closed ranks around the kid, or the the kids who were the alleged targets of the taunting, backed down. Or maybe none of it really happened. They aren't sure. But this definitely did happen.
The minority kid is one of three or four minorities on the team, along with at least one or more jewish kids. The kid has been working hard to earn a spot, but hasn't gotten much playing time. Plus the team has been on a bit of a roll after starting out poorly. Dad says kid is a team player and genuinely doesn't want to disrupt team chemistry. Dad respects the kids wishes, but also wants some adult to step in and create a culture in which his son and the few other minorities on the team are not subject to this sort of thing and not afraid to speak up for themselves if it does happen. Son wants dad to wait until the end of the season, which is coming soon. Team is in the midst of playoffs and playing well. Apparently this happened several weeks ago. The racist player is a senior, so the dad thinks waiting till the end of the season is basically letting racist bully off the hook. In a way, it seems to me (and this is what I suggested to him) it is also letting the coach off the hook too. Seems to me the coach has the responsibility of creating a climate and a culture in which this kind of thing isn't tolerated. And also in which a minority player isn't blamed by his non-minority teammates for simply standing up to a racist bully in their midst. I suggested that he and the son should confide in the coach the full range of their concerns and then trust the coach to handle this in a way that doesn't blow up in his son's face. If the coach is a leader worth his salt, he can do that, right? But the Dad isn't 100% certain that the coach is capable of handling this in a way that doesn't turn out badly for his son. Hence, he is torn. What would you advise the dad and/or his son to do?