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Reply to "A Dilemma"

My wife and I are mixed race, and our son could pass for many different races.  When he started on the HS team as a freshman/sophomore he was called names on a regular basis by upper classmen, with "Sand N*gger" being the overwhelmingly used racial term.  In this case it was done more as a hazing ritual than an true anger response.  He ignored it at first, but it became a constant source of irritation.  The guys doing it were the older and top players on the team, so it was important to handle this properly.

 

First, in my opinion -- as an African-American male that was called the N word in school many, many times under all types of scenarios both in a playful and hostile way -- going to the coach or school would be the worst way to handle the situation, (unless there was some concern for kid's safety).  The kid must learn to address these issues with people like this NOW.  It is part of growing up.  Depending on the situation, it may call for a discussion directly with that kid, or with one of the other kids on the team that can act as an intermediary.  If that does not work, and it continues, he may want to confront the other guy with his own rhetoric by calling the kid a racist (or something to that effect).  Kids today know it is wrong to use these racially -provocative terms, and most will shy away from someone that is treating others this way.  There are numerous tactics one can use to address this issue without resorting to going to the coach or school.

 

In my son's case, he went to someone he trusted on the team that was also friends with the guys calling him names, and it stopped immediately thereafter and it never happened again,  He also got along very well thereafter with all the guys that were the perpetrators thereafter.  All learned a lesson in that scenario. 

 

 

Last edited by Aleebaba
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