Just as you obtain information on the HS coach, he too gets information, sometimes years in advance of a player heading his way. So, forming an opinion before one gets the opportunity to prove what they're about is a two way street.
You don't have to like the coach or his program, but you do have to respect it.
Your player needs to work this out on his own and simply get to an understanding with the coach. Learn what it means to be humble and work his tail off getting better. That is how you prove a point.
Coaches love talented kids that do not bring baggage and contribute to the team. It's a very simple proposition. If he looks to a program like UVA.......go take in a practice, O'Connor is a very demanding coach. That's why he's successful.