When I fit started coaching there was a way to talk to umpires about balls and strikes. You did not yell or scream about a pitch. I would say in a calm voice to the umpire something like was that pitch a little up or in joe mike etc etc he would say yes he has to brin it in or down. Maybe you would get the next one. towards the end of my coaching tenure i remember asking the same to a young umpire who proceeded to rip his mask off and tell me I was going to be run if i said one more word. What happened?
I have coaches ask on the way by the plate, between innings, where is he missing. I have no problem asking a question like that. Anything yelled from the dugout is not acceptable. If he tries to carry a simple question into an argument then that isn't going to happen.