Reading this thread reminded me of my University roommate – a guy who went to my High School and who I didn’t really know that well before university. If it wasn’t for this guy, I don’t think I would have made it through first year engineering. He was a machine.
We went to an engineering school that was very tough mathematically. I recall one freshman student who didn’t get accepted the year before, went to another engineering school, got a 75% in his first year there and barely scraped a 60% average going through it the second time. In fourth year, one of our professor’s made the statement that two thirds of the engineering professors at the university wouldn’t be accepted to the school based upon their high school marks.
In any event, this guy had a work ethic that was unbelievable. In the first term, he averaged four all-nighters a week and made the Dean’s list. He would coach me a bit with words like “you CAN do it”. He taught me how to power through the assignment load; to load up on carbs at about 11:00 pm and drink a lot of tea to do the all-nighters; ice cubes on the eyes help if you are going to get two hours or less sleep. I averaged one all-nighter a week. In second year, my roommate had physical problems because of the 70 pound fluctuations in weight he would go through from School Term to Work Term. He would put on the weight from the carb intake during a school term and take it off through swimming during his work term.
Engineering wasn’t his love – it was what his parents expected of him. He actually wanted to be an artist but, they threatened to take him out of art class in High School if he even mentioned it. It was actually a German-background family. He became a successful engineer but, I didn’t really get the sense that he was a very happy person.
I lived in a household where you didn’t escape piano lessons until you were through Grade 7 piano and Grade 2 Theory as a minimum (not even approaching Chinese Mom). My mom was a retired school teacher. She made it her job to make sure we were well-prepared for school. When I came home from school at lunch during primary grades, there was always reading time. She prepared quizzes before any test. We were the first three siblings in generations of our family to get degrees.
A couple of years back, I coached a kid whose parents came over from Japan for a two year-stint. Every Saturday was Japanese school – and there was no way this kid would even consider taking a day off for a game.
I think one of the key issues in the Chinese Mom articles is that these parents have the ability to teach at high levels themselves. Maybe that makes us a little uneasy too. The author’s career path is not necessarily in that direction however; I would bet money she could teach Grade 12 Calculus better than most Grade 12 math teachers. Their system requires a base – generations of academic success.
I think one of the most obvious examples of when the Chinese Mother system breaks down is the last Biggest Loser show. One of the contestants was made to feel shame throughout her life about her weight. I know that my son has classmates that no matter what they do, they will not have the ability to achieve academic performance. What happens in the Chinese Mom family when this is the case?
I installed a whiteboard in my HS freshman’s room. I read his notes and texts and try to prepare him not for what he’s doing now but, what’s coming up. Right now, although a good student, he is learning to study. Between HS Sports and 8 hours of baseball a week at indoor facilities, he is loaded pretty good.
I do this because right-or-wrong, the world economy is at our doorstep, and we seem to avoid the issue that it is performance-based. The opportunities for easy-gain are not as prevalent as they once were and in most cases, you will have to bring tangible value to the table to be more successful than your peers.
To bring this back to HSBBW… How many of the posters here are really looking at the education first and the baseball second? How many of the kids will actually complete their degree at the college they attended because of a baseball scholarship? How many will take weaker academic routes, so that they can PLAY? I’ve done some following of players through schools and I get the sense there are not a lot of kids who complete their degrees as cleanly as they might have without the baseball.
For most of us here, there is opportunity and optimism in all of this. Our kids have WORKED as well as played at this game. Many will have the option to have some portion of higher education paid for and for some making continued education possible. Some will have the opportunity to gain entrance to a school they might otherwise not have had the chance to get into. Our kids have the benefit of becoming focussed on higher education earlier, avoiding the many distractions that are all around them. We are not the Chinese Mom but, I sense our little niche is closer to it than many of our children’s peer households.