My son for three years during high school dated the same girl who was two years younger...they were almost inseparable. She was cute, smart, and popular just like my son. The problem was that she was very possessive and jealous...he seemed to think it was a phase that she would grow out of when she "matured" but I always had a bad feeling that maybe this was more than a "phase" and maybe a character flaw that would not completely go away even with maturity. She was jealous of the time he spent with his guy friends and would get angry if he even talked to other girls. As it turned out, she was very insecure and spent most of her time worrying that she would lose him (which in the end was exactly what happened...self-fulfilling prophecy maybe). I had talks with him about my concerns but he had to finally come to realize for himself that she was not going to change...it took the first semester of college with them being separated for the first time for him to really see things clearly. He broke up with her after Christmas when he became tired of the increasing arguments that took place during the frequent long distance phone calls. He said he didn't need anymore of that and he wanted to have fun in college without the constant pressure of trying to keep this relationship going. I have to admit, I was SO happy when this breakup occurred...I had been predicting it but it was such a relief when it finally happened.
Now, here comes my favorite part of this story: the "good" girlfriend experience! Shortly into the spring semester, Ryan had a class where he started noticing a very cute girl who sat on the other side of the room....he was pretty shy and just looked at her a lot thinking that there was something about her that was somehow different from other girls that he had been around. Well, thank goodness, one day in March after class one day, this girl caught up with Ryan while walking on the sidewalk and introduced herself and brought up the baseball team because she knew that he was on the team. Well, that started what has turned into the most perfect relationship that a mom could ask for! Thank goodness this young lady initiated the conversation because she might still be waiting to meet my son if she had waited on him to talk first. We have visited several times and she has even come to visit in our home and he in hers and without hesitation I have to say that this is a match made in heaven! They are both goal oriented and have their own interests which means they aren't dependent upon each other totally for their personal happiness..she is his age and is very mature and well-grounded (she was valedictorian of her high school class) and she is VERY supportive of his baseball career and knows he wants to try to make it to the next level. I think she has been very good for him because she knows what to say to cheer him up when things aren't going well and she is his best fan (other than his family, of course). While I would have initially preferred that he didn't have a girlfriend in the picture because of the potential distraction that could occur, I have to say that in this case, he is very lucky to have this young lady in his life at this time. So,for any of you moms out there who are going through a similar situation as my first story, keep the faith that they will eventually make the right decision regarding a girlfriend and potential future mate. All we can do is give them the values that we think are important and hope that they remember them when it comes down to making such important life-altering decisions.
Sorry this was so lengthy but I feel so strongly about this that I couldn't leave out anything important!
Ann