Stand on your front porch, wallet in hand.
An unmarked car with dark tinted windows will pick you up.
Dont ask any questions, just get in.
The wives of America anti-Dog House committee takes on a few special cases each year. You've been a good guy. They're stepping in and handing you a life line. You've earned it.
Be warned, the stores they take you to do not have crockpots,... not dual crockpots, nor blinged out crockpots, or ones in the shape of a baseball.
Just. No. Crockpots. Period.
This is a prevent jail/doghouse for free card. Use it wisely.
Be prepared to write a note to your wife about a promise of a luxurious foot massage and/or your committment to cook dinner once a week, with candles.
Warning: warming up HungryMan t.v. dinners does not qualify.
And no, she does not need new pots and pans either.
( Nice try. No cigar. )
This message will self destruct in 30 seconds.
Its been a pleasure. Your wife will thank you and will refer to you as " Da Man " Christmas morning,...( She probably does already. Lets keep it that way. )
For the record:
We never had this conversation.
