I have no idea what would help but I can relate to that pit in your stomach. We have a kid on our team who's Dad built the batting cages. He plays infeild and starts and plays every inning of every game. He makes a minimum of two errors each game. Doesn't have much of a bat either! Why does he play? You Guess! He takes a lot of heat from the other kids with the snide remarks but he puts his head down and plays. With my son's problems everyone said "go talk to the coach". My son would never do that, he thinks that makes things worse. If you can't, maybe just wait it out and see what happens. Sometimes the reality is not as bad as what we imagine. Or maybe it is exactly what you think it's going to be. Are you going to be happy on this team if you both make it? Can only one of you make it or is it more about playing time? It seems weird that a coach would not just pick his best kids. But I do not understand why they put some kids on a team and then don't play them. Isn't that a problem for the coach waiting to happen? All I can say is try to stay positive and it may all just work out fine and you have worried for nothing. Do you have a good friend on the team that can call you whenever he gets a call? Maybe a parent that is good friends with your Mom? Not all kids have Dad's that can build batting cages but not all kids have the heart to keep fighting either. You sound like you do. Good Luck!!!