My son attended a large classification high school. Outside football and track, swimming and water polo and multiple track seasons there were a lot of one sport athletes. Coaches believed their sport was THE sport. Baseball was his primary sport. He started varsity soph year. He made varsity soccer before the end of freshman year. Soccer was his best sport. Freshman year he was the starting point guard on the freshman basketball team.
Soph year basketball parents were asking me if I thought he would make varsity. The team needed an unselfish point guard. They had too many shooters and not enough unselfish passers. My son had always been in search of the perfect pass. Plus the top D1 prospect on the team said my son was the toughest defender he had ever faced (in practice).
I came home from work and found my son slumped on the couch. He had been cut despite his talent due to not playing on a summer team (played travel baseball and attended soccer goalie day camp) and not attending any fall off season “optional” workouts (played soccer and travel fall ball). He did a lot of basketball work on his own in the driveway.
All season long a former NBA player with a son on the team told the coach he made a huge mistake. The team lacked a quality point guard. Parents and kids told my son and me constantly he got screwed. We took the high road. We attended games and cheered. He sat in the students section. Refs would ask him why he wasn’t on the team. He only said he was focusing on two sports.
He played in the local youth rec league. The basketball coach allowed varsity end of the bench and JV players to play. My son ate them all alive. By junior year getting cut wasn’t something we ever thought about again. Having the winter free to work on physical development and his swing made him a better baseball player.
The soccer coach was ticked off my son was the only player on the team not playing elite summer soccer and looking for a college soccer opportunity. Whenever he got on my son he smiled and said, “Coach it’s no problem. (he was a goalie) Outside the 18 is like playing short (he was a shortstop). Inside the 18 is like playing third.”
My son was benched the first two games junior year. The coach tried to hand the goalie job to the senior son of the head of the local travel program. The kid played three years of JV. He had never played goal until that summer. After starting 0-2 with poor goal play my son was given the job back. The previous year they were 22-4 including playoffs. Most of the team was back.
So yes, this stuff happens. Blowing up on a coach doesn’t help. You deal with it or walk away. Actually, the kid deals with it with the coach.
Someday your son is going to get screwed and you’re not going to be there to help. It could be a college grade or getting passed over for a job promotion. High school isn’t too young for young men to start handling their own problems. Parents should only coach how to deal with the problem.
Life isn’t always fair. Unless you’re A Ford you will never be Chairman of the Board of The Ford Motor Company.
When you get screwed do you wilt, toss blame and make excuses or find an alternate route to success?