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Reply to "Coach holding a grudge against a player for for retaliation against parent."

Iowamom23 - Thanks for reminding me that everyone has a perception and they are all different. Sometimes hard to remember that. Especially when you have others confirming what you think you are seeing without asking about it. But yes our perceptions are different because our expectations are different. Having both the coaching and parent perspective should make something like this easier, but it doesn't really seem to help and might even make it more difficult. This coach knows why I benched his sons. It was communicated. They just didn't want to accept it. And I got many texts that season regarding the situation...and was directed to hand out more playing time at one point. That of course didn't go over too well with the rest of the team when I benched my own son to make room for more playing time of less talented older players.

The problem I have with assuming that someone says and wants whats best for the team is that when their actions and decisions clearly show something different, it sends a very different message to the team. Actions always outweigh what someone says to alter someone else's perception. I've never seen anyone say so many right things and then take actions to contradict what they say. I'm just not equipped to know how to work with (or rather just understand) someone like that....YET.

Venting helps, don't know why, but I might be able to make it through the season now.

adbono, why just soccer? Its a great sport that can really help kids stay active that don't have the patience or timing and coordination for a sport like baseball. But it has skills that transfers to baseball as well with timing and foot speed and coordination. The only thing I don't like about it is that the rules of the game are left WAY too much to judgement and interpretation of what is allowed for aggression. So every game is a new adventure on whether it will be physical based or skill based or somewhere in between. I prefer the skill based game but might be biased toward baseball.

pabaseball, We've already done that twice and the last time the excuse was he didn't want to get him hurt for baseball which was lame. How do you get better at not getting hurt? Just found out another coach overheard that conversation and was flabbergasted about it too.

He started again last night, made it 17 minutes. started 2nd half made it 7 minutes and got a few minutes at end again. Asked my son how he felt and if he felt he was getting what he deserved. His response was it was better but it still didn't seem right yet.  Told him then you didn't do good enough then to separate yourself from the other subs then yet. Keep at it. He's had 2 coaches now (HC and HC father-in-law) tell him he's doing really good but then in the same breath point out a single bad touch giving the impression they are expecting perfection from him while overlooking the lack of perfection on the players that never come out of the game. Its a difficult situation for him to navigate and figure out what the HC is actually expecting to see. Sounds like working at a job to me and trying to navigate what your boss really wants to see vs what he's telling you that he wants. ha. life lessons through sports they say.

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