So I thought I give this thread some closure. As it turns out the coach ended up getting fired...err I mean the position was re-opened. And now we have a new coach for next year. There were many issues and complaints from parents that shouldn't need to complain and don't normally complain. Plus a number of other issues the just compounded the problem. Administration felt it was best to try another path.
It was recommended by some that my wife and I also voice our observations/feelings (since the AD requested anyone that had an issue to voice it) but I didn't feel that was the right move at the time and did not want to add to what looked like someone digging their own hole so to speak. Instead we kept plugging along and encouraged our son to keep working hard at practice and games with the time he did get. Us his emotions as fuel to up his level of play. My specific instruction went something like this. "Make the coach look "stupid" for not playing you." He really didn't have any other options after the coach stopped giving him things to improve on and started making excuses for not playing him like "I don't want to get you hurt for baseball." For most of all the regular season He continued to start on the bench and was usually 1st or 2nd to be subbed into games after about 15-20 min of mind numbing soccer play from the positions he was to be subbed into. Never got more than half a game worth of time on the field until we made it to post season play (The bar is set pretty low for that) he started every game and played more time on the field than any other regular season game. Was still the first one subbed off. Never got credit for things he did on the field. Nor were his or any other players stats ever remotely correct. I know stats are subjective (baseball has some of the most subjective), but there is subjective and then there is just grossly wrong. At the time we didn't realize none of that really mattered as it only added to the negativity that was building around the coach. What really mattered was seeing my son play in the first round of state playoff game be ultra aggressive near the goal on an attempt to score and being taken out by the opponent that was clearly not in a position to stop him....to draw a penalty kick (not scored by him) that ended up either tying the game or was the first score of the game in a very back and forth match up that was previously a blow out twice in regular season. Final score after 2 overtimes was 1-1. The game was decided in then end by penalty kicks to which we came out victors. There were many things he did in that game that went way above and beyond the norm, It was like he was finally released from a leash that was on him the whole season. I think it all stemmed from the fear of making the coach mad and losing the little bit of playing time he was getting. After many conversations of trying to help him understand coaching perspectives balanced with motivations and the end of the season near, The gloves finally came off and he seemed to go all out disregarding some ultra conservative (possibly biased) instruction he and some teammates were getting. After the state game I waited for him to come out wrapped my arm around him and told him, "While I was super proud of how well he played, He should be proud most proud of himself for how much he worked to prove that he belonged on the field and could help his team win if given the chance" I will remember that game forever probably. We lost the next round to a private school and were done for the season. The next school day the coach was released.
Thank you all that offered comments of support and checks on reality. It was very helpful. and this process will help me as a coach moving forward as well. For now we are looking forward to baseball season (He is now above that 80mph cutoff that so many colleges seem to look for, Still has height working against him though). This should help him have a very successful year on the mound in our league. Unsure what the future holds in the batters box yet. We are also looking forward to finishing up high school soccer with a new coach. Hopefully things will go a bit smoother this time.
My advice for any parent or player in any sport that might find this thread. Just focus on making the coach look stupid for not playing you by your performance at practice/games on the field/court/pitch. It solves a lot of issues quickly. The challenge in this task is being able to objectively see your performance against those that you are competing against and maybe hearing some things you don't want to hear. But they are necessary for you to hear if they will help you get better. You can't assume your working on the right things, you must ask what it is the coach is looking for to set you apart. Speed covers up a lot of deficiencies. If you have it be thankful but look for other areas of improvement. If you don't have speed, make it a top priority in your development, but don't neglect other areas.