@cabbagedad posted:A few questions for you, Viking...
Have you ever met a parent that doesn't have some level of rose colored "daddy-glasses"? Don't we all, at least to some extent? It is innate with caring, loving parents - impossible for 99% of us to "be sure you aren't looking using your daddy-glasses" And a decent player will almost always see himself as better than others as well, again, with some bias.
What happens when the kid gets to HS and transferring isn't a viable or wise option - he really wants to play for his school but he perceives favoritism with others that play his position/s? What happens if the kid is good enough to get recruited to a college and shows up on campus and sees the coach/es have favorite upperclassmen or he's just not otherwise getting the playing time opportunities he thinks he deserves? Do you transfer at every turn where you perceive some wrongdoing? What happens if he is blessed enough to be drafted but gets into an organization that is currently focused more on advancing their Latin players? Ya can't quit and pick another organization. What happens when he steps into the work force and finds that there is a good-ol'-boy network going on and he is having challenges climbing the ladder quickly in with an otherwise ideal company in his chosen profession? What happens when the inevitable difficult times come up in your marriage?
I know you also said you tell him to just deal with it so you don't totally disagree, but there are the bigger lessons to be learned here. Work harder and smarter, use your resources and work with others to get where you want to be. Don't allow any excuses to get in your way. Sure, there are extraordinary exception scenarios where leaving/quitting/transferring/divorcing makes sense but ...
No coach/team/employer/wife/organization is ever going to be perfect. What can we do on our part to make it better for myself and everyone involved?
A lot of kids are taught the wrong lesson at an early age. Their parents tell them the coach is a jerk, they’re getting screwed and find them a new team. Ultimately they move away from home as a college kid or the work world, hit a wall and don’t know what to do. They’ve never had to deal with the wall before. Mommy and daddy always tore it down for them.
One evening after practice in high school I complained to my father about anti Semitic comments a coach had directed towards me in practice. My father, a WWII veteran responded, “You can be a pussy and quit. Or you can man up and figure out how you’re going to deal with it.”
I was never that verbally harsh with my kids. But I used the same philosophy. I figured my kids learning to push a teacher for an A and failing was a better lesson than me talking to the teacher and getting them the A.