This is the only comment that worries me. If the behavior of a coach is going impact his desire to play the game, he's going to have a hard time moving forward. Regardless of whether people think this is right or wrong, it's more than likely going to continue to happen as he moves up the ladder. If your son is 14, he will have more than one HS coaches to deal with. Chances are at least one will be tough on the kids. If he makes it to college, chances are really good he will have a coach that is hard on him. If he lets outside forces dictate whether or not he wants to play the game, he will have a really hard time.
My son's college coach loves to curse and get ticked off at the players. Much more so his freshman year than his sophomore year. He would always tell us stories of guys getting cussed out. I asked him at one point if he ever got cussed out. He said not that he knew of. What?? How would you not know? He said coach will sit in the dugout and cuss guys out to himself while they are on the field. Well, one day, he gave up a 2 run HR and coach went out to get him. He got an earful. We asked what he said and he told us, without the cuss words. I asked him how much he cussed and he said he didn't know, he lost count. I asked my son if it bothered him and he said no. His love for the game has nothing to do with how a coach talks to him.
The point is, like others have said, if he stays in the game, he WILL have coaches he doesn't like and who treat him in a way he doesn't like. He cannot let that affect his love for the game and his desire to play. He needs to learn how to deal with it if he wants to continue to play. Maybe he can leave this summer team and find a coach he likes more. But at some point he will wind up with a coach he doesn't like on a team that he cannot just leave. What will he do then? In my opinion, he needs to learn how to deal with it. His love for the game should over ride any outside influence.
Thanks to all for your comments. Much appreciated. It seems the better lesson would be for my son to find a way to deal with this coach and his outbursts which aren't that often but are a pretty bad display of leadership and behavior when it does happen. I see a huge shift in my kids body language and play after a chewing out. He does not get motivated by it. He gets pissed within himself and starts throwing crappy and playing crappy. Never talks, just internalizes it and plays badly. Maybe this is the turning point when you realize, this isn't your sport. Great advice by everyone here. To clarify, this isn't a grown man cursing at the team, this is a kid who is only 6 yrs older than the players. Its a confusing dynamic as one day he is their buddy, then the next coaching by intimidation. Keep in mind, my sons reaction will be to get pissed. We've all watched a game when the pitcher gets pissed and really starts playing like crap cause he can't get out of his own head. That's what happens. While he gets pissed and extremely disappointed in himself, I am the one writing with the issue, not my kid. I am the one trying to determine if parenting should come before baseball which is why I value all of your opinions.