SUMOM3 posted:joes87 posted:Going to get into some psych here, but is your son in a roundabout way asking you if its ok to walk away from the program? If so you need to let him know that its his decision and you support him either way. Kids don't always ask but by letting you know he is having a hard time he maybe feeling you out to make sure you are going to be on his side if he leaves the team.
The above said, I ran track in college at a competitive school. The coach was a little old fashion and at times would be abrupt, distance and seem like he was ignoring you. My sr year I went to him with a problem with a class scheduling problem (he asked us to do this) that may cause me to drop below the required 12 credits needed in season. His answer to me, "figure it out its your problem" and he walked away. This really pi$$ed me off. I called one of the ACs that I was close with and let him know I was going to quit the next day. He talked me off the ledge and reminded me that the HC could be a little bit of an A.. and that I need to take 48 hours before making my decision. In the end it was good advice. I guess what I am getting at is this...Is there an AC that your son can talk to? It maybe that he is reading too much into things and that he is ok. The AC could maybe able give him some perspective.
Your story is awful!! I can’t believe how cold these coaches can be. I’m all for being tough on them and teaching them responsibility, but to be that rude is uncalled for. I’m glad you found someone to talk to - hopefully my son will as well.
I don't see it that way. When I was in college "old school" coaches were more the norm then the exception. You learned to deal with it. Heck in a way it gave my teammates and me something to rally around.
I just realized that I did not follow up to what ultimately happened. I stayed on the team. The AC raised a good point in that it was my Sr season and I only had 1 Sr season and I worked too hard to give it up at that point. I stayed on the team. As I said above the coach was old fashion "at times". He was also a decent guy if he needed to be. He was very helpful and accommodating during a personal tragedy my sophomore year.
Also, I have very fond memories of my last day on the track. As many folks have alluded to playing sports in college is more like a job then it is in HS. Track meets normally last 10 hours or more and sometimes are spread over 2 days. When you have a home meet you show up, do your job and then leave. Most times folks will shower and stay around for a while, but they rarely stick around all day. My very last meet was a home meet. I vividly remember finishing up, and seeing a group of other SRs sitting around on the track. I walked over and sat with them for the remainder of the meet. After it was done we were walking around talking to folks from other teams, some teammates and officials. In reality no one wanted to leave the track. The HC came over to each one of us and pulled us aside. He had a personal conversation with each one of us. To this day I still treasure that discussion and keep some of it private as it means a lot to me.
In the end I choose to see the fix it yourself incident as a growing moment. He was teaching me that you need to deal with your problems and that other folks will not fix things for you. He basically taught me to man up. The ACs advice to wait a while before making decision was solid as well. To this day both of those lessons have severed me well.