Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and thank you Qhead for the great quote... I needed that laugh. It’s been a tough day, I heard from my son a few hours ago. He met with his coach and decided to walk away. He’s done with baseball. I’m really sad, but also proud of him. Transferring isn’t an option for him because he is in a great school for his major. I’ll explain what happened in a second, but wanted to say one thing first... there’s been a lot of talk here about the pros and cons of tough coaches... so I do want to be clear that my son has had tough coaches... the kind who scream and yell and somehow in their madness are making you a better, stronger player. I’m ok with that... I actually like that tough love approach. I remember one game in HS - my son was throwing a no hitter shut out, but had a few bad moments in the 6th inning and walked the 7th and 8th batters. It didn’t matter how well he was pitching or that we were up by a lot... his high school coach started screaming, threw his clipboard and shattered it because “you never walk the bottom of the lineup!!!” They laugh about it today, and that lesson always stuck with him. Despite his tough demeanor, at the end of the day, that high school coach cared for his players, and he paid attention to all of them... even the ones who never played. In fact my son spent 45 minutes on the phone with him the other day getting advice on his current situation. He was there for him. In contrast, my son’s college coach isn’t like that... he’s demeaning and belittling and acts like you aren’t worth his time. He has a few select players that get all his attention, but the rest are pretty much ignored. After my son’s injury, I think this guy looked at him as damaged goods. He wasn’t worth his time anymore. So imo, tough coaches are good.... mean coaches are not. Ok, back to what happened today... my son met with his HC and told him how he was feeling - that he wasn’t happy with how he and others were being treated, that it wasn’t fun for him anymore and he was questioning being there. The coach said, “this may not be the right fit for you, you’d probably be better off somewhere else.” My son put his uniform on the desk and walked out. There were no words of encouragement, nothing. About an hour later, my son received a text from him. I’ll let you read what it said in my son’s own words:
“After an hour went by he sent me a text saying how a lot of people feel the same way I do but they aren’t as mature as me and aren’t strong and brave enough to confront him about it. He said he respected that. He also said that there’s a lot of people on the team right now that he believes should do what I did but are afraid of doing it. After I went in there and after he texted me, it felt as if a 100lb backpack was just taken off my shoulders and I can finally breathe. I’m sorry if this makes you guys upset, but in the end I feel a lot better than I have in awhile. It took me until all this came up to realize that I haven’t been happy. I’ve finally got some closure about this and it feels great. I’m gonna miss it but that’s why i’m going into this field, so I can stay around it. I love you and I’m sorry if you’re upset, but this is something I had to do, especially after hearing what he had to say.”
The tears are flowing down my cheeks re-reading his text. He didn’t make the decision I wanted him to make, but he did what he felt was best. And I’m proud of him for that. I don’t know what to think of a coach who has kids on his team that he doesn’t want. Why recruit them if you don’t want them? And why belittle them instead of just being honest and cutting them?
This forum is wonderful. Thank you everyone for your advice. I sure am going to miss watching my son play. But I know he will be fine.