2020dad posted:There are successful people all over the country from a wide swath of schools. There are hundreds of great choices for college and yes even over 1000. Of course a sports choice can limit that and sometimes severely. I just can't understand why it would be so important to force feed one particular school down a kids throat even though he is uncomfortable with it FOR ANY REASON! Why are you so invested in what this one kid decides with this one school. Personally I couldn't care less if he changes his mind and goes there or if he permanently crosses them off his list. First I don't even know the kid and second I simply wish him the best of luck and the best experience for HIM. It's not about me or anyone's agenda. It's about this one particular kid. And if he has an agenda that's his business and his right. I am flabbergasted that this is not crystal clear to everyone. we can not criticize a kids college choice based on our own social agenda. It is quite clear where I lean politically and right here an hour away is one of the most liberal campuses in America at UW Madison. I will be honest and say I prefer none of my kids go there. But if one decides that is the best fit for them I can GUARANTEE you right here and now I will not stand in the way. So long as this kid is not harming anyone it is completely within his rights to decide what he is comfortable with. And in no way shape or form are any of us qualified to say what is or is not a stupid move for him. And I repeat I have no dog in this race. If he changes his mind and goes there I won't call it stupid. If it's right for him then that's fantastic. If he sticks to his guns and never gives it another thought - also good for him if that is the right thing for him. And nobody has the right to call that stupid either. Good luck to the young man in finding his best fit!
All of that is fine, but the OP's already suggested that he'd like his son to actually consider the school, but that son wrote it off because of this single issue/experience. As his parent, I think OP should absolutely consider whether allowing a 16-year old to make that kind of snap decision might be counter-productive.
My son chose the school he's attending essentially without my intervention in the final decision making process, but I did help him get started on the "what schools might be good fits" part of the process at the beginning (at the 60ish schools stage), and we talked at length about his process as he went through it so he'd have at least a sounding board. IMO, OP is at the stage where crossing schools off a list is premature, especially if it's for reasons that are effectively superficial (in the sense that he's only had one interaction by which to judge them).