AS a youth coach with two BB playing sons, I always ask before every season whether or not they want me to coach them. When S1 was 14yo, he said no mas...it probably could've been a year earlier, but the alternatives to me were not appealing. S2 still wants me around, but this year(14), he made a team that already has decent coaches.
I tend to say little to my kids during games but vague, reassuring things. Both say they don't notice me, which is great. I have gotten better with umpires as I age. Some of them are really not very good... but I am learning to bite my tongue.
Ways you can help your kids in baseball(warning, this takes time);
-Play catch with your sons when they are young.
-Take them to the park and hit them grounders and flies. Defense is REALLY hard. Don't get mad at them if they make mistakes. I don't think people realize how hard it is to field on a bumpy, barely maintained park, and how wonderfully maintained the MLB fields are in comparison. I believe it takes thousands of balls to get certain skills down.
-If they are pitchers, let them throw to you. Only teach them if you actually know something about pitching...like REALLY know something. Telling them to throw strikes does NOT count (warning, they will bounce balls off your knees, ankles, face and crotch, eventually).
-Throw BP to them. Do NOT tell them what to do unless you actually know how to teach hitting. Many parents who were good hitters themselves have no idea how to teach hitting.
- Do not talk about the mistakes they made, or do a post mortem on the game as soon as they get in the car. Let them bring it up if they wish.
- Do NOT politic within your association and shoehorn your kid onto a team that is above his abilities. You think you are helping him, but in many cases you are hurting him.
- Do take them to MLB, minor league, or HS games once in a while. Make it fun. S2 is a good ball player, but doesn't like to watch a full game. He will watch short clips on Youtube, and will watch Domingo Ayala for hours.
- When they are very young(6-9) they might like you to cheer loudly for them, but after that they mostly don't want to hear from you. Act accordingly. Mild cheering that blends into the crowd is allowed.
- If you are an athletic Dad 25-45, know and understand that you are much bigger, stronger, and more developed than your child. There is no way that they can do what you can, right now. If you want to show off your skills, go play ball in an adult league.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. I'd like to emphasize that most parents I've run into in BB are very positive and helpful.