FYI, my son had two official visits. He went to parties at both schools, his comments were there was less trouble to get into where he decided to go!
Either way, both were large D1 programs with huge football programs at public universities. Sometimes these type of schools have lower tolerance, sometimes they have higher tolerance. I have friends that have sons at smaller programs, there seems to be just as much, if not even more that goes on there than in sons program.
This is where good recruiting comes in. Coaches have responsibilites to find the best players, and that sometimes involves those that are mature enough to handle their surroundings with little or no temptations. Most coaches want thier recruits to see all of the aspects of college life, not just the field. Sometimes a red flag will go up if the recruit does not wish to participate and sometimes a red flag will go up if he particiaptes too much. Lots of input comes from players regarding recruits.
My opinion is that regardless of the school size, whether provate or public, a coaches responsibilities are to teach, mentor and guide their players with an open mind about college life and not rule with an iron fist regarding outside activities.