Hokie -
Unfortunately the problem with AOL IM or actually all IM systems is that you can't limit the number of buddies, nor can you actually control the accounts, unless you are the owner or have the password access as they are free to anyone. You can also have as many as you have email addresses.
I know that Chris spends tons of times on IM and has about 75-80 on his buddy list.. This use to bother me alot but its a sign of the times and isn't going away. It's just like the old days with the house phones always being tied up.
This is where you need to have the adult conversation with the kids, explaining that you are paying for an education from a college not a IM education and the kids at college have to step up and handle the responsibily of turning it off when they need to do so. As long as Oldest has a computer at school with internet access you can't stop the access to an IM account.
Now that Chris is away from home I actually love the convenience of IM.. We probably "talk" every day, he leaves me messages on mine all the time, and I do the same to him.. Its has made the adjustment of being so far from home and all his friends easier because thru IM they are still with him and they are able to stay in contact. It's also reassuring to me as well as I can contact him from just about anywhere. I can't imagine what the phone bills were for college parents before IM came into existance..
As for cell phones that accept IM's.. We had the feature disabled on all our phones as soon as we got them, the same with * 6 9 feature as that costs as well..
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"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole."
"JustMom"