Runningaway,
Thanks for posting. I guess I'll kick it off and possibly others will reply as well. Most of us could write a book on the subject of "finding the right fit". Some of the real old OldTimers (> 5000 posts) could write a trilogy on this topic. I applaud the question, and your search to find out how other approached finding the right fit
First everybodys fit is different. I think it starts with a goal statement. Just as everybodys fit is different so is their goal. Second, I think you have to have a genuine honest assessment of your son's baseball skills to know what is possible and what is probable. Third, you have to be willing to make mistakes, say "no" to offers that don't fit, and keep searching. Recruited = passion + skill + persistence + luck
It took us 18 months to eventually find our fit, and by no means was it easy. We modified our search along the way as we succeeded or failed. Also, my son's criteria changed. At first he was only interested in D1 engineering schools in Virginia. That is a short list. So we expanded it to be D1 engineering and hard sciences majors on the East Coast. That universe is a little bigger. He went to showcases, camps and tournaments while communicating to college coaches. His travel coach helped us with some schools and we reached out to others on our own until we found the right baseball program and engineering school for him. In our case, my son was willing to forego baseball if it meant getting into the best engineering school possible. Some of his travel teammates wanted the best possible baseball program/coach possible as they intend to play professional baseball. Others are hoping to develop enough before their junior year so they can hopefully get drafted. That was NOT part of the plan or right fit for us.
Going back to my earlier points....it was a lot of work to finally arrive at a college that allowed him to play D1 baseball and study Engineering and Material Science. We found there are very few D1 schools that offer that combination (based on our criteria) and even fewer that recruited him. He was offered various financial packages (full rides all the way to 25%) by schools he had little interest in as well as so called "baseball factory" schools. To his credit, he stuck to his guns. As you may find out, it is very tempting to take that full ride or the 25% from a baseball powerhouse. Additional criteria was that my son wanted the "realistic opportunity" to start as a freshmen. With no professional career on the horizon, he wanted to play college baseball for 4 years. Others look at it differently. But it absolutely factored into our decision making in finding the right fit.
I tried my best to keep it short. If you have any specific question, please feel free to PM me.