WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO FDR and the Greatest Generation, I offer this humble missive:
Mr. President, Ms. Vice President, Ms. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives, and my good friends, the High School Baseball Websters:
On Tuesday, October 13, 2020, and Wednesday, February 17th, 2021, and Wednesday, March 3, 2021 --- dates which will live in infamy -- our Spring Sports, with their airs of sunny and warmer days, with their greening of trees and grass, with their joyful fans shouting "Hey batter, batter! Scha-wing, batter, batter!" and "Run, Forrest, Run!," --- were cancelled.
No longer are the players happily harkening to the leather snap of ball against mitt and the ping of bat against ball, the starter pistol's sharp crack or the sweet thud of shot puts. No, THOSE spring sports were suddenly and deliberately cancelled by the presidents and provosts, the emperors and queens, the Cartel of Evil Umpires of High Academic Schools.
Spring Sports could have been at peace with those schools and were still in conversation with their so-called leaders looking toward the maintenance of every spring's splendor, of peace on the ballfields and tracks of America, from the Central Pacific to the Mid-Atlantic.
For weeks and months before the Garnets, the Fords, the Quakers, the Bulldogs, the Crimson, the Big Red and the Big Green, the Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh, my!) had their hopes and dreams for a perfect new spring mothballed, the despots of the High Academic Schools fretted and dithered and spoke of the uselessness of continuing to play during the COVID occupation, yet still they noticed no threat or hint of war against or of armed attack.
(Well, they did, but it doesn't fit this narrative).
Always remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us, with our righteous might we will win through to absolute victory. We will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.
With confidence in our virtuosity, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph -- so help us God.
PLAY BALL!