A graduate of Stanford and Harvard Law, Julie Lythcott-Haims practiced law in the Bay Area for many years before returning to Stanford as an Associate Dean, and then Assistant to the President (John Hennessy). After that, she spent a decade as the Dean of Freshmen, a position she created in 2002. Almost 20,000 undergraduates matriculated on her watch, and in 2010 she received the university’s Lloyd W. Dinkelspiel Award. To her students she was affectionately known as “Dean Julie.”
So I guess it was ok and fitting for her to chase the stanford/harvard dream but would be way too pressure packed for mere mortals. Kind of lost me already right there. I will pass on her sage advice and continue to follow my own conscience and values.
Chasing the Stanford/Harvard dream back in her day was nothing at all what it is like to chase that dream today. Partly due to the rise of the common app, partly due to the the way parenting has developed, kids who are chasing the Stanford/Harvard dream these days are under a LOT more psychological and emotional stress. Julie Lynthcott-Haims has seen this up close and personal, believe me. In one freshman dorm at Stanford last year, for example, nearly 1/3 of the students were on some form of anti-depressant. Lots and lots of stress and pressure on ambitious, high achieving kids these days that just wasn't there back in the day.
Harvard has a very informative and powerful letter on its website, addressed to all admitted students, their parents, and potential students, urging all admitted students to consider taking a gap year before starting Harvard, once admitted. It gets at many of the same things that Lythcott-Haims is talking about. I think it should be required reading for high achieving students and the parents, teachers and counselors who push them so relentlessly.
Here's a little excerpt that's particularly relevant to us all here as parents of sports ambitious kids:
Sports, music, dance, and other recreational activities used to provide a welcome break, a time to relax and unwind. No more: training for college scholarships—or professional contracts—begins early, even in grammar school. Professional instruction, summer camps, and weekly practice and game schedules consume many hours and nearly all free time. Student and family commuting logistics become byzantine in their complexity. Even “play-time” is often structured and enriched with just the right mix of appropriate playmates and educational activities. Summer vacations have become a thing of the past. The pace of the day and the year allows little time simply “to be a kid”—or, it seems, to develop into a complete human being.
The entire letter is here: