I didnt read the book but I understood the point she was trying to get at as pointed out by JBB.
There comes a time when you have to step back and let the kids handle it on their own. The earlier the better. And I too feel that I became a better parent when my kids failed at one point, not that we were not there to advise, but by just asking what did you learn from what happened? That doesn't mean that we were always concerned. And its not easy letting go. My dad was a Yale engineering graduate and my brother couldnt get a sniff into MIT or Harvard or Yale, but he went to RPI and still became an engineer. He also followed the same route as my dad and let the government pay for his education (navy my dad was army), and my folks could well afford the tuition. He made it work.
I think she has valid points, its about those really brilliant kids who have their folks doing the things they should be doing themselves. When I hear stories of graduates applying for jobs and the parents negotiating for them, well, as I said when do you let go?
Go44dad cited a great example. Letting his son figure out in 8th grade he has to be accountable will allow him to be accountable when it really is important. So letting his grades fall a bit and then having a sit down with the coach about college opportunities probably drove the point home about taking care of business on your own, good for you dad!
No one is telling anyone how to raise their children, but using a little common sense seems to be lacking these days, and that is not on the kids, but on the parents.
Lets kind of relate this to baseball, which is a game of failure, if you never fail at one point, you will never learn how to cope with failure and you will never learn to succeed.