Boy does this sound familiar!!!! You are not alone I assure you. I have a ninth grader who showed similar tendancies. I believe it was early last summer of his rising ninth grade year, when after the first week of his summer vacation I noticed what his idea of "summer vacation" was to be? That being sleeping in till 9am, breakfast and ESPN till 10, then X-BOX till who knows when? After several days of this from my 14 year old rising 9th grader (great and aspiring baseball and basketball player too) I decided we needed to have a little talk and a laying down of some clear summer rules.
My point was to my son, that when "I was your age we didn't have Xbox.....blah, blah, blah,..." Went on to regall him of all the epic neighborhood games we'd play etc. Then I said "and when I turned 14 I began TO WORK." I mowed lawns like all kids, then I got a job at a country club golf course, and WORKED." My point was basically, "Look, WORK is a part of life and now that you are 14 I realize your options are limited but if you are not going to WORK ON YOUR CRAFT (baseball and or basketball) then here are the keys to the lawn tractor, start knocking on some doors." I'm sorry, but 14 is the time a kid needs to start understanding REAL responsibility, accountability, etc. If they are not learning it on the fairy tale land on the baseball diamond or the hard court than by-gum they will learn it in reality.
Now I had to still be reasonable though, hear me out. I simply told my son, "You have two options for a "job." One is to take the lawn tractor and start mowing lawns, baby sitting, whatever. THE OTHER OPTION IS SPORTS. I will allow you to make sports your job." Now what does that mean? For the rest of the summer my son's life looked like this: Monday thru Thursday he was to have breakfast and be done with Xbox by 9am. From 9am until 3pm he was to be "working." What qualified for "work" was practicing his craft. Doing T-work in garage (have simple indoor batting rig in garage, see HSBW topic "Batting Cages"), shooting hoops in driveway, reading a book, lifting age appropriate weights, footwork, etc. THAT WAS HIS JOB, Monday thru Thursday only. Then, having put 6 hours of work in per day, 24 per week, he was good to go, still within reason, on Xbox, TV, Youtube, whatever.
Now, I don't want to make this sound like the magic cure, as it does take trust, checking up on etc. as any boss would. But by 14? The fairy tale land of sleeping in, endless hours of XBOX, etc. is going to end either by them "getting a job" of some sort or allowing them the choice to make baseball or hoops or whatever their job. And lets face it we all need some relax, down time from our jobs and what better way to do that than to play some Halo or Black Ops?
Great topic and valid concern.