These are children. Let's have a little compassion for them and treat them like they may have actual feelings.
I look at it this way....if I was applying for a job and I didn't get it, I would ask the employer what the person they chose had that I didn't have. In theory so that I could improve my chances of getting the next job. I have actually asked this to potential employers. Sometimes the other person lived closer, or had a training certificate I did not have, once they were able to identify 2 more chemicals by smelling them than I did. Only once did someone say "We just decided to go in a different direction"....I considered that to be the equivalent of a twitter posting of who made the team and who didn't.
Asking for feedback is not a bad thing, and giving it without being asked is a great thing.