Dadof3 posted:What is wrong with a kid learning how to deal with adversity? Getting cut can teach a kid many things: How to deal with adversity/rejection, if they truly love the sport, then maybe they will work harder to make the team the next year, maybe it will push him/her into the sport/activity they were destined for. The kid(s) will need to learn how to deal with rejection at some point, even if it is in front of other kids - does it suck, absolutely, been there done that, was I embarrassed? You bet, but life goes on. Sorry if this sounds insensitive, but how better to learn about life especially when it throws a wrench at you! And yes my heart goes out for those kids, but I too have to be strong, I can't pamper them and say, "It was unfair, you deserve to be on the team."
I don't think there is any good way to handle cutting kids. But no matter which way you do it, someone will complain.
A kid can learn about adversity without being humiliated. And trust me i am about as far from being that parent who pampers and shelters their kids as is possible. My older son is barely speaking to me right now because i gave him a big dose of real world truth (as i see it anyway) In my younger son's case he faced up to the adversity, worked his butt off and two years after being cut from the middle school team personally (from what ive been told) by the Varsity coach over the objection of the MS coach, he was starting on Varsity for that same coach that cut him.
But that long walk of shame was unnecessary. I like the idea of posting the list online, coupled with a 1 on 1 meeting later. Youre right there is no perfect way, being told you arent good enough to be on the team is a harsh message to receive no matter the medium. But there are less bad options.
I worked at a place that went through a big layoff. When they called your number they brought you into an office, did what they had to do, gave you a little speech, and then left and gave you a few minutes to yourself to collect yourself. Not extending that courtesy to children just seems mean.
By the way the coach did cuts the same way the next year, and had a mom freak out when her kid got cut. Like a serious storm the field cursing yelling throwing anything not nailed down conniption. In this day and age having a big group of parents and kids, many of whom are in a state of overcharged emotions, all interacting is a recipe for disaster. I wont lie and say i didnt resent some of the families hugging and congratulating their kids. Luckily, i dont have anger management issues, and just tamped it down. But not everyone is as level headed as i am.
The following year he posted a list on his office door.