Son has failed more than three times :-) - failed more than I can remember. He has also been successful - and we dwell more on those moments. He, his dad, and a coach talk about what works, what doesn't - fail or succeed. I think he (and most people) are able to combine the two. When he is on the mound, I've noticed his comfort level is increasing. He also takes responsibility. Once I remember a conversation about a huge double. He threw something that just begged to be hit, and it was. He said if the batter hadn't hit it, kid should have been kicked off the team it was such a meat ball. He realized what he had done mechanically, and corrected it for the next batter.
We have been reading the book TMG over the summer and have enjoyed it.