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How to spot a baseball coach.

He's the guy with...
1. ...the "white" socks that have that infield red shade to them.
2. ...the bruise on his throwing side butt cheek, due to the fact that it has increased in size through the years and now sticks out from behind the cutout of the L screen.
3. ...the shoes with one torn toe, from dragging the throwing side foot while throwing one kazillion b.p. pitches.
4. ...one dirty ear in need of "Q-tipping", from circle dragging the infield.
5. ...flaking, sunburned ear lobes and the baseball coaches version of the "farmer's tan".
6. ...the title. Even your nephews call you "coach". "Can I stay at Coach's house?"
7. ...an arm that no longer even requires warming up...it just makes it hurt more.
8. ...his eyes glued to the Weather Channel. Your favorite show is C.S.I., his is the local forecast on the eights.
9. ...the P.E. class, who when loaded onto the bus and told they are going on a field trip, now knows the "field" part of the trip is to the baseball field. And when told they are going to have a party, knows it's a "rock party".
10. ...the ability to go nearly unrecognized in public simply by going "capless". "Hey, Coach! I didn't recognize you without a cap on!"

I'm thinking I can make this into a routine like Foxworthy's Redneck gig. Maybe make a little money on the side to supplement the baseball budget body-builder.
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