I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I have been a HS coach and the parent of HS players. I had rules for several reasons. When it came to missing, there was no difference in games and practices. In my mind they were both equally important. A program is bigger than me and it's bigger than you. Once you start allowing kids to miss for one reason you can't stop other kids to miss for other reasons. Before you know it you can't preschedule your practices because you don't know who is going to show up. Players that rarely play who never miss don't understand why kids that do miss always play. The player that is allowed to leave early on Wednesday's for Church has now opened the door for the Scout member to attend a function on Tuesday night. The players that are allowed to miss to go on a ski trip over Easter break are followed up with a request by other members to miss for their reason. Parents don't understand why Johnny can miss for his event but you didn't allow their son to miss. They don't understand why a kid who missed a practice is playing in front of their son who is never out of practice. Parents believe their son is not playing because he is being punished for not coming. ON and ON it goes.
Then there is the whole concept of commitment. Someone got cut. Someone didn't get opportunity you got. When you signed on to this you said this team was your priority. You made a commitment to this team to this program to this quest. That means you will have to make sacrifices in order to fulfill your commitment. Just like I will have to make sacrifices and your team mates will have to make sacrifices. I will have to miss my kids events. You will have to decide if it's worth missing the other things you like to do. The time to make that decision is before some kid is cut. The time to make that decision is before you accept that jersey.
Once you start bending the rules there are no rules. Once you start making exceptions there are no rules. One kids trip is no more important than opening day of Turkey season for another. At least in those kids minds. Where do you draw the line? "This is really important to Jimmy so I am going to let him miss." "I Don't think this is as important to you Tommy as that was to Jimmy so I am not going to allow you to miss." I don't know what is so hard to understand really. If you decide to be a part of this team and you make this team you are required to be at every practice and game for the entirety of the season. Right then and there is the time to make that call. Some kid who would have honored that commitment didn't get the opportunity because you said you would.
There is nothing more frustrating and demoralizing to a team than to show up for practice and guys are not there. "Coach where's Tommy?" Unchecked it starts a crack in the foundation. It's just practice coach! Practice is the most important part of a teams foundation. It's what allows you to perform at the level needed to win. And if it's not important to the coach good luck instilling the value of practice to your players.
As far as this situation. I have never gone wrong in my life when I simply was honest with a situation. It might not have been pleasant at the time. I might have had a nervous stomach at the time. But when it was all said and done I knew I did the right thing. Do the right thing. Tell the coach your not going to play for him. Tell him you feel you have an opportunity that you feel is right for you. Thank him for his time coaching you. And wish him well. And simply move on.