What I want to hear from a coach: Facts about how many kids may make the team, what the cut schedule will be, what the lines of communication are.
Then I want to see them keep their word. Programs I've been involved with have sometimes found that challenging. Extremely frustrating for parents.
Red cup issue: As far as I know the team coaches leave the discipline stuff up to the school. If a kid shows up hungover at practice, coach may have him run poles, but he will also pass the kid along to administrative staff for consequences. If a kid shows up to school stoned or drunk they can expect to be expelled because they're violating the expectations of the school day. If the school is made aware of a major rager over the weekend, parent hosts are asked to meet with senior administrators as are their children. Serious counseling takes place, and expectations are explained: this can't happen again, or the school will require a separation of the family from the school. School will not go looking for trouble (i.e. scour instagram and other social media for salacious details) but the school will also not ignore it if trouble lands at its feet. This approach keeps the coach out of it, but also requires that there be a lot of trust and transparency between the coaching staff and the administration. Frankly, sometimes it works beautifully, and sometimes it fails spectacularly.