I doubt many current college coaches will read this so as a parent who you may think knows it all I am responding.
The recruiting process has to be approached for what it is, marketing a program. It's a way of courting a player for them to get to know each other. It can be a very frustrating experience if one doesn't understand that. Tons of letters, tons of phone calls (or lack of either), emails means nothing until that offer comes to the table.
Unless the player is one of those "blue chip" guys often mentioned, the coach and his coaching staff is in complete control of the situation, because in the end after sending out hundreds of letters, making many phone calls, offering visits, meeting the teams needs, he most likely has less than 15 opportunities to give out in a year.