The original post asked whether a father not being able to attend a showcase would make a difference. No matter who has to go with their son, mom or dad, should not make a hill of beans difference to anyone. This includes showcases, tournamets, visits to schools, tryouts, etc.
Making reference to a mom being psychotic, etc is wrong, though maybe said in jest. I am glad that I was not the only one who felt that it hit a nerve. Thanks for admitting so. Many moms are able to see things differently through their sons eyes, there is that special mother/son relationship that some coaches recognize are a stronger bond than the father/son relationship. I think that is what the coach was refereing to. We ALL want the best for our kids. We ALL take pride in our children's accomplishments, no matter on what level they play.
All parents, at some time or another, make excuses when their son doesn't perform as to their liking. I have been guilty of that on a few occassions. It does become the coaches fault, the pitchers fault, the catcher's fault, etc. The reference to parents being jealous. I don't think most parents are jealous, but more frustrated with themselves that their son just didn't get to the level they, the parent, felt they should be. Player's are compared to one another (good example are showcases) and this causes lots of anxiety. The really special parent is not the one whose son will go on to play ball at a higher level, but the one that accepts that their son just might have to be a lawyer, businessman, whatever instead of a major league star.
That parent talking trash about the ss will talk trash the next game about the pitcher.,etc. That is not living vicariously that is living on disappointment. Living vicariously is seeing yourself in place of the other person, I for one never really quite could see myself as a major leaguer (haha), IMO, I think Dads have a tendency to do that more than Moms, my husband has often been guilty of doing it (he admits), I think that is what the coach was refering to.
Another issue that comes into play is when other outside influences begin to feed on the success of our children, making us feel less than adequate if we feel differently than they do. For some reason many moms get the impression if Dad doesn't go along, it just doesn't look right. NOT!
I think that I tried to stay on the topic.