I think copping to the troll charge is the easy way out, but it doesn't matter.
If he was playing it straight and really did the things he says and sincerely thought he was justified in doing them, then he is an immature jerk for endangering kids as stage props for his own unresolved masculine identity psychodrama (which would explain the exaggerated velocity).
If he concocted the story to get people to over-react, then a) he failed because all the responses were temperate and rational, and b) he's an immature jerk for wasting people's time without even compensating them with a clever, well-written scenario.
Either way, he's an immature jerk. I harbor no curiosity as to which particular species of immature jerk he happens to be.