Hi folks,
I am back once again, and once again after another long hiatus. I was just talking with a younger person about some of the topics I have discussed in this thread before, so naturally you all came to mind again. Some important follow-up thoughts came up in our discussion, so I thought I would share them with anyone who is interested.
First, I was reminded of a thought I had at the beginning of college when I really felt lost. Nothing seemed to be going my way, as I have said earlier, but worse than that, I was convinced that it was "too late" to fix my situation. At 18, it was hard for me to have a good sense of perspective. For my baseball career, yes, it might have been too late, and I certainly thought it was. All I know for sure is that by giving up, I made it too late. That being said, based on how I was able to "fix" my academic situation and my athletic situation in my non-baseball life, who knows, maybe something could have been done. I had projected my frustration with my high school experience on the sport of baseball itself, and that mental block destroyed any chance of fixing my baseball situation. I wish I had handled that differently, but in retrospect I am glad I learned that lesson with baseball as opposed to learning it with my profession, my future marriage/family, etc. The bottom line: it is only too late if you convince yourself it is. To be 100% clear, I am NOT looking back and saying "could have, would have, should have.."; there is a clear difference between having regrets and learning from your mistakes, and I am squarely doing the latter. I am proud to say that I have avoided considering the results of my subsequent missteps in life (there are many and will be many more, I have learned to accept that...) impossible to fix. So I learned something from my baseball experience, and I'm content with that.
Second, and I already have said this twice, but I cannot say it enough: IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH A SITUATION, BE PROACTIVE AND CHANGE IT. To be blunt, I should have transferred high schools. In retrospect, it's obvious. The problem was that I assumed the problems were with me, not with the other factors I have discussed. I undoubtedly could have handled the situation better in high school, but at the end of the day, the environment just was not a fit for me. The worst part is that I knew that. I distinctly remember saying things to my family about how the psychologically abusive high school sports environment was taking its toll on me athletically, academically, and emotionally (yes gentlemen, we have emotions...). Between college, work, and graduate school, I have seen the benefits of being in an environment where I am wanted and in which I "fit". I am happy in these environments, and adversity is a lot easier to face when one is a part of a team. Who knows how things would have been different for my teenage self had I transferred high schools, but now I at least know to improve situations that I find to be damaging and to encourage others to do the same.
Third, I am convinced it is crucial find a mentor (or maybe multiple mentors) of some kind who have your best interest at heart. We all need guidance on so many facets of life, and it is so much easier to navigate life with role models and quality advice.
Finally, FOR COACHES, I have never been a coach in my life and probably never will be, so know that I am only offering a former player's perspective, not that of an experienced coach. I completely understand that this might disqualify me from giving advice, so I will only make an observation: your players are developing young people, even the most athletically gifted of whom need to excel in life outside of baseball. I can guarantee you that the best baseball player you will ever coach will still live the majority of his life off of the field, because the HOFers of the world do just that. Again, I have not been a coach, so I do not think I am qualified to give advice on your profession. HOWEVER, what I can say with certainty is that your players will remember you in one way or another. Unfortunately, for me, I remember my high school coaches in terms of "I would NEVER say that to another human being or treat another person like that, because now I know how emotionally damaging that can be". Conversely, however, I remember my college coach for giving me a chance that most people did not think I deserved, so I remember him in terms of how grateful people are when they are just given a chance and when they have someone who believes in them.
Again, these are just some assorted thoughts. Do with them what you will, and I hope they are helpful to at least one of you.
I have to admit, my disappointment in baseball has completely waned, and I have come to really miss the sport that was once my greatest passion. You might just start to see me around here a bit more now...