To be a good listener I think it takes a level of wisdom you don't normally have when younger. It's a natural part of growing up / finding out who you are - you want to prove your worthy in the eyes of those who are "superior". Well as we all know it usually ends in some humbling experiences. It's rare to find that teenager / young adult who has that natural ability to truly listen and come up with an outcome. It's either "I'll do it my by gosh and I'll show you" or "I'm a sheep and if you tell me to jump off a bridge, I will".
I have no idea if I'm a good listener or not but I do know I'm better at it than I was 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 10 years ago and 5 years ago. Over time I've messed up enough to realize I don't know it all but sometimes I don't realize that fact and I mess up. I have an ego (as we all do) that I want to be right and I want recognition that I'm right but I'm also humble enough to ask for help when I know I need it.
When I started coaching almost 20 years ago (man just typing that made me feel old) I knew then I didn't know enough and was open minded and listened. I went to every clinic, camp and speaker I could because I wanted to learn. Twenty years later I go to fewer clinics, camps and speakers but I feel that I'm more open minded (listener) than I was 20 years ago. The difference is I've discovered I can talk to other HS coaches that I know and learn just as much. I remember talking before a game one time with another head coach and we were discussion philosophy on how to turn a double play. I liked what he had to say and started trying it - I noticed the next year he was trying something I had my guys do during pregame on double plays. The credentials of who's talking does carry a lot of weight in whether to listen or not. People need to pick and choose who they ask or they will be flooded with information to select from and quite a bit of it will be useless probably.
I like what CD and TPM put about how some people come here and don't like the advice they get but I want to play a little devil's advocate with something. I'm not attacking you by no means but I know how I think and something that both of you said has me thinking.
When I give advice and it's not followed or they never come back to let us know how it went - I don't care. They asked my opinion, I gave it and if they want to listen then I hope it works out for them. If they don't then more power to them. It's a natural reaction to get ticked off when someone blatently blows you off but in the grand scheme of things - who cares. I know I don't always follow my own advice but I guess that's where I need to listen better.
I hope I'm someone people on here can read my post and trust that what I'm saying is good stuff but I can't truly control that. Because of that I just see it as out of my hands and try to let it go. I guess what I'm saying / asking - do you look for some kind of validation from people when you give advice? If yes then why is that?